Sunday, December 14, 2008

Head & Shoulders, Knees & Toes...

I got to play this popular children's game at my Ortho Appointment on Tuesday! ~*claps enthusiastically, jumping up and down*~. How often do YOU get excited enough to break into song while sitting in that chair with someone elbow deep in the bowels of your mouth?

Ah blast~ I'm yanking your chain. The game WAS played.... albeit in reverse fashion... but was neither fun nor exciting. In fact, more than bringing back delightful childhood memories it more closely resembled doing a reverse crunch: Knees pulled up tight to my chin, rocking back on my shoulders till all that was in contact with the chair is my head, trying with all my might to accomplish 3 things:

  • keep head immobile
  • ensure plumber butt has not become a wind sock
  • keep knees out of poor technician's face.

They love me. All she was doing was trying to close my bracket doors. Freakin' Frick that hurt!

For whatever unknown reason it was decided to put the powerchain under the wire which made for a tighter fit to get the brackets closed. Couple this with teeth in active movement (particularly around the "thing" we're trying to close up) equals: For cryin' out loud, lend a lady some support behind the teeth you're pushin' on! I want the recently-debraced-tech next time. She KNOWS!

Children in the chairs to my left & right leapt up (remembering some essay they forgot to complete the night before? a spelling bee they just couldn't bear to miss? A reenactment of the latest Bratz episode at recess?), ran out the door in search of these educational pursuits, yelling "Mom! We're outta here!"over their shoulders, mumbling about rescheduling as soon as they could fit it in.... pansies!

I might play again next time, just for fun!

Sunday, December 7, 2008

On This Day...

1732 - The original Covent Garden Theatre Royal (now the Royal Opera House) was opened.

1431 - In Paris, Henry VI of England was crowned King of France.

1796 - John Adams was elected to be the second president of the United States.

1836 - Martin Van Buren was elected the eighth president of the United States.

1842 - The New York Philharmonic gave its first concert.

1926 - The gas operated refrigerator was patented by The Electrolux Servel Corporation.

1941 - Pearl Harbor, located on the Hawaiian island of Oahu was attacked by nearly 200 Japanese warplanes. The attack resulted in the U.S. entering into World War II.

1972 - Apollo 17 was launched at Cape Canaveral.

1987 - Soviet leader Mikhail S. Gorbachev set foot on American soil for the first time. He had come to the U.S. for a Washington summit with U.S. President Reagan.

2008- Kate remembers that she neglected to celebrate or otherwise mark her 1 year brace-aversary....

Yep, one more footnote lost in the annals of history.

I'm still not naming 'it' (no power, no power, no power) but 'it' is still there, still ticking me off and still closing ever so s-l-o-w-l-y.

What else have I learned lately?

  • Procrastination is BAD and ultimately ends up being much more time consuming than the original chore would otherwise entail.
  • Our farm aced the full 'On Farm Food Safety Assurance Program' audit (Wahoo! for us)
  • Carbon Monoxide poisoning kicks your hooey, is helped wonders by pure oxygen, but still leaves you feeling like a space cadet for a time.
  • Taking 3 kids to the dentist simultaneously means signing over the last piece of your soul that the ortho's haven't already claimed
  • My next date with the primary 'soul-holder' is on Tuesday.
  • It's cold, snowy, blowy and alot like winter out there.. I've got a good book and Bubblebath calling my name....

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Survival Skills 101

Everyone has their own little bag of tricks for getting by and that bag ,whether simple or of seismic proportions is pretty important to how you present yourself. It can include things, actions, attitudes: A go-to outfit for an important meeting complete with that underwear which refuses to budge. An album or playlist that is sure to inspire whatever mood the occasion calls for. The friend whose number is on speed dial that you know will say just the right thing. A Tide-to-Go stick stashed in the bottom of every purse ...

Near the top of my list is the 'head-tilt'. (The top spot being reserved for my favourite personal mantra ~"shut up, shut up, shut up..." yes, I talk to much and am trying to recite this internally BEFORE I actually say something ~ still working on it).

Allow me to demonstrate:

The grin stays the same, yet by merely changing the angle of my head I go from looking like I have an underbite (though portraying a strong, confident exterior ) to being able to mask it quite well (this gets you called 'cute' once in a blue moon, which is the risk one takes...)

I've noticed some references to how people are perceived on first meeting based purely on initial response. It's been found that irregardless of actual personality or other characteristics, those with underbites are frequently viewed as strong, stubborn, confident, even grouchy. I plead the 5th on all above.

Obviously this is not an exact science, and varies a bit between the sexes. (severity of the bite has to play in as well). I find interesting that chin implants are a frequent request of men visiting their plastic surgeons ~ it's felt they look weak and overlooked, and want a stronger look assuming it will serve them well with the ladies & in the workplace.

I'm not going to draw many conclusions on this and would have to think if you spend much time with a person the truth will out. However, on aesthetics I wouldn't mind a happy medium. Less bull dog, no pushover, just, just..... hmmm.

Sharing time, folks. What's in your bag?

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Blowing Bubbles

In case you were wondering, my skin is still plagued with the curse of delayed adolesence. (That or poor lifestyle habits.... but that's neither here nor there.)

Today was another mundane Ortho adjustment that, shock-of-shocks, was yet more snappity-snap! elastic wrangling to continue addressing that which I prefer remain nameless for this post. ( i'm going the reverse psychology route. Perhaps denying it a name will rob it of power?) Replaced the powerchain configuration & added a new band back to the next molar back to try and keep thing moving.

What's interesting is how my bite has changed in the >10 hours since the appointment. The visible underbite discrepancy is much smaller all of a sudden; hardly any space between the top & bottom teeth. Mind you I can't bite all the way down now, either so it's hard to be very accurate.

My guess: lower arch was expanded as all were ordered to "pull your shoulders back and stand up straight!" (don't forget the nameless thing) and the doubling up of bands is now yanking everything back in tight.

What I know: holy twinkies, batman, I'm feeling this one.

And I neglected to suck spit bubbles off my teeth before taking this close-up.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Confirmation: Head Not On Straight.

I don't believe I mentioned previous assumptions about a 2 piece Lefort I were bang on?

If you hadn't noticed in the paint-shopped midline pic, I've added this one to further illustrate how my upper jaw isn't an even horizontal plane but on an upward cant to my left (right in picture). This means the upper palate gets 'sawn in twain' as well as the whole thing being removed from my supporting skull. In this way Dr. Sawmaster can lower and rotate each section independent of the other to level this out.

Noooooo, not exactly a$$-backwards..... but proof enough should I ever need an alibi for unclear thought process......

*Sighhhhhh* The latest gap picture. I shouldn't complain actually; it is surely and slowly closing. I'm still mildly annoyed that in spite of the power chain, this space is closing at the peril of new ones opening up on the opposite side. My only comfort is new little spaces should close up faster, Oui?

Wednesday, October 15, 2008


I'm throwing my camera across the room and stomping on it as soon as it lands. You'd think, given the high-tech world in which we live, they could produce a camera with a little longevity. But with all the constant additions and upgrades available, I'm assuming these things are programmed to require replacement every other year.

Lack of photo documentation aside, there's not really a whole lot of difference to highlight anyways. The gap is still a gap & still sporting an elastic to span that space. The only addition being that it's attached to a power chain to keep everything else together. (As I pointed out in the previous midline pic, any lessening of said Gap is largely due to spaces opening up elsewhere.)

Yes I'm tardy, tardy, tardy in the updates. I'm trying hard to just ignore the fact that I even have braces and carry on, carrying on in attempt to make time go just a wee bit faster. Picture me running in circles with fingers in my ears singing ~lalalalalalalalala!~ in a complete state of blissful ignorance.

*Sigh* Not working.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Ants In My Pants

'Cause all I really want to do is tell you the smashing progress to report from my latest Ortho appointment... But I can't do that as the (I'm thinking positive thoughts) impressive appointment in question isn't until tomorrow. Hmmmph!

I do know time is moving along WAY to fast, irregardless of how it comes across on a day-to-day basis. I look at my chillun's latest 'back-to-school' snap and I want to scream "STOP!!!!!"

Stay tuned.... we now return to your regularly scheduled programming.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Relevance of Shakespeare & Teeth

"'Tis but thy name that is my enemy; Thou art thyself, though not a Montague. What's Montague? it is nor hand, nor foot, Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part Belonging to a man. O, be some other name! What's in a name? that which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet;" (excerpt from Romeo & Juliet)

According to my Oxford Thesaurus:

Gap n. 1. opening, space, aperture, distance, hole, void, crack, split, division, cleft, rift, rip, tear, rent, interruption, interval, lacuna (this is my new word for the day!), hiatus, discontinuity, disruption, lull, pause, rest, recess, halt, stop, suspension, delay, wait, intermission, respite. 2. difference, divergence, disparity, disagreement, inconsistency, discrepancy, division, distinction.

If the text included visualization for clarity, this might be a suggested example. I do find it interesting that the entry following 'gap' is 'gape' ~as this seems to be the natural progression incurred from the former. To completely go off on a tangent, the next words in sequence are garble, garish, garland....otherwise known as talks funny, looks funny, slap some braces on 'em...

My humble conclusion; it doesn't matter WHAT I call my gap, it still is one. *Sigh* I'd like to call it 'HISTORY'!

Monday, September 8, 2008

Diagnostic Relevence Aside...

Given that "Open up and say 'Ahhh' " trumps "Bend over and cough" on any given day, I can at least share with you the outcome of 'ahhh'.

Lower: Before & at 9 Months

Upper: Before & at 9 Months

Midline situation: OOOOO.... ahhhhhh... (click to enlarge if reading is difficult...first endeavour with 'Paint'....I'll learn! Also please keep in mind this pic doesn't have my mouth in 'square' , to which my carpenter husband gasps in horror..)

I'm operating under a lot of assumptions right now. (And if it weren't for my car ~figuratively speaking~ blowing up the day before my last scheduled appointment -which I therefore missed; facilitating the need to reschedule said appointment to a later date -which is coming up on the 16th *takes a breath*) I will hopefully have a few of these assumptions clarified or mooted when I next see Dr. K. I'll give you an example:

As of my June appointment, I was told molds were to be taken late July and sent to OS for progress report. This didn't happen which was a bit of a let down. Instead all energies have been focused on closing that dreaded gap 'downstairs' with the comment that when this was closed, THEN we'd do molds for OS. My question: What changed? Was original plan to carryout Operation Jigsaw first, then close spaces? (Irregardless of answer, it is obvious that plan now is to close all gaps before OJ)

It doesn't really matter in the end except that I like knowing - I'm part of this team, right? I think I'll (politely) request more information, and reassure that there's nothing they can say to creep me out or scare me sleepless. Got that out of the system checking out some of the scary links (do not underestimate the power of images!!!!). It bothers me much more not to know. At least give me something to be looking for as accomplishment, no matter how small or seemingly irrelevant, to cheer along the way.

That and I REALLY want to see my OS again; our little 'love triangle' is much cozier when the other two aren't doing all the yacking behind my back~ Share the love! I felt prepared when I met him the first time, but now I have better, more numerous and much more specific questions to ask.

Guess we'll find out on Monday!

Sunday, July 27, 2008

One Love!

If I was any good with Paint (or such related programs) I'd have put braces on Mr. Marley. As such, I have offered to be the brace-faced rep to Jamaica in his stead. 2 weeks till take off!!

I previously shared the joy being the only metallic person in the Bahamas, but will be at a more family-friendly resort this time *read : should not be soooo alooooone -Bring it, kiddies! *

What to pack. Hmmm. I'm evolving into a minimalist packer and have the clothing/toiletries down to a science ~ then we come to mouth stuff. Is it wrong that the various accessories, scrubbers, pickers, flossers, take up half my suitcase? That I'll take an electrical currency converter to ensure the use of my water pic?

Thursday, July 17, 2008

My Nemesis

See this baby? This yawning hole is ALL that's standing between the author and her surgery. Humph! Upper is good to go; no new wire or tweaking at all to be done. BORING. Unfortunately, closing this hole is going to take some time. At the June appointment, we introduced a section of power chain tugging the premolar towards the hook on my wire.

Yesterday Dr. Kaller changed the elastic...but that's it. The SUPER bummer of the situation is that once that premolar is moving, we still have to get the molars behind to also move forward into place........*sigh*.

(In other news: My ring is back, fixed, real and looks brand new............YAY!!!!!!)

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Random Smatterings

Where does the time go to so very quickly? It's been a MONTH since last posting?? Sheesh! What has happened in the last month....hmmmm.

Well for one, I turned the (like-it-really-means-anything) big 3-0. I spent my whole day shovelling poo out of my barn (congratulations to ME!). Adding insult to injury, while cleaning said barn the diamond from my engagement ring fell out and is lost forever to the poo. Won't lie to you. I cried. ALOT. I know it's just a 'thing', nobody died, yadda yadda. It's knowing the amount of thought that went into the ring; the sentiment and symbolism of the promise held within it. It's not like it was a mammoth rock or anything..but it was MINE! Grrr. Will have to put Cubic Zircona in it for the time being, (shhh don't tell!) but at least it will be wearable till in can be replaced with the real deal.

I continue to be bored with my mouth. The latest adjustment brought surgical wires and a heavy duty elastic spanning the gap where that lower 4th was removed, and a quip that as soon as that gap is closed I'll be ready for the big day. That sounds promising except that it involves moving everything from the back forward on that side, and we all know how quickly (NOT!) molars like to shuffle along. I actually felt the adjustment, (my teeth hurt and everything!), for a full two days ( which is a first), so I was jumping up and down all "they hurt, they hurt! Yay! They're moving!" and then.........nothing. This is one of those patience things we keep hearing about right? As soon as I brush my teeth & have a camera close by within the same hour, I'll pop a pic in.

Kind of drab post, sorry, but I wanted you to know I haven't bailed :)

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Pat Me On the Head...

...and call me Fido, 'cause what a good girl I am. I finally steeled the reserve to get my teeth (properly) scaled and sandblasted. But before you get the wrong idea thinking this star is a commendation to self ~ it is NOT.

Rather, it is posthumously bestowed upon the goddess of Oral hygiene, Robin, who did such a spectacular job causing me NO discomfort at my first ever braced cleaning that I would hug her had this not been our first encounter (and as strangers, no matter how intimate they may be with your mouth, tend to have requests for restraining orders against panting, pathetic patients on speed dial)!

Perhaps I should jump back for a second with the delayed preface that "I LOATHE CLEANINGS. " Kick me in the shins, please. Slam my fingers in the car door, Ya! Tie me up and throw burning coals in my lap...okay, you get the picture. But what's with the amazing capabilities of such otherwise pleasant-looking people to immediately find that last nerve and pick, pick, pick, till you want to die, die, DIE!!!! Normally I give them a heads up of the specific area that triggers the " Oh! I WILL bite you" reflex, but then they seem annoyed you spoiled their sport and zero in on it like a master marksman. (Sadomasochistic something-or-others... )

So imagine the surprise when, with great trepidation, I explained my sensitive bits and she listened. And.....(angel choirs break forth) tread gently and carefully with caution and concern. A rare gem, she is. Obviously, I had reception bold, italicize AND highlight that Robin is to perform my next cleaning - which is booked - & I can't wait.

You know when you find the right spot to scratch on your favourite pooch, the eyes role back & that ole hind leg gets thumping a furious tattoo? Ahhhhhhhhh!

Friday, May 16, 2008


Does this stack look familiar to anybody else, just a different day? I confess to being rather reluctant to post as there just isn't that much to say right now. I was hoping for something hilarious to happen that could at least keep you folks entertained 'till something of consequence came up....but....
nope. Such small fry compared to the big stuff going on.

Most notably a massive (Al Pacino-Esq) HOO-ah! to Heather and Leah -their surgeries this past Wednesday and today, respectively- and Holly chomping at the bit with just 11 sleeps to go. We're all rooting for you, ladies!

It is nice in slower moments like this to just carry on carrying on as if there is no "someday" looming on my personal horizon; to follow what everyone else is up to and Cheer you on as LOTS is happening, without being too caught up in my own oral issues to try and really hear what you're trying to say. So whether I'm flooding you with comments or all seems silent, I'm most certainly up-to-date with you guys. Please! For the time being, let me live vicariously through you!

Nothing shattering, but I did finally do the old, " are things moving?....Are we on schedule...." all nonchalant-like and merely mildly interested, to my OD at the last adjustment. Trust me, inside I was shaking him by his Gap button-down polo 'till HIS teeth moved, screaming "Tell me,tell me, TELL ME NOW!!!!" *sigh* the restraint nearly killed me ~ My
fellow orthodontees were silently directing Oscar nods my way. THAT relaxed.

Anyhow, he informed me things are moving right on schedule and June 3rd I graduate to my Surgical wires and...wait for it...elastics! Yay, me. Arches, as whacked as they appear & feel, are nearly where they want them, so focus will be switched to finally closing the downstairs, yawning hole where my tooth used to be. I'm stuck with these glorious mid-lines until they're rearranged on J (jaw)-Day.

July will usher in more bubblegum goo (It's been a while, so I've almost missed this delicacy) to make my first braced impressions to be sent to the Surgeon. I loved hearing this part (but still looked cool, promise, no outward drooling with excitement) as it reaffirmed that there is a surgery going to be in here somewhere; they hadn't forgotten the god-like being who's to both shove Humpty off the wall AND put her back together again.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Trolls and Tantrums

nce upon a time, in a land far, far away there lived a goat who spent her days skipping merrily through the meadow; exploring pastures abundant in tender grasses with a bounce in her step and a crown of jewels within her mouth. Content (and not saddled with directional impairment), Her life was rather pleasant , unhindered, free .......

Then why in tarnation do I all of a sudden feel like FREAKING OUT!!! No worries, this too shall pass, yada yada yada, and let's not forget how very long it is until anythings even going to happen, but it's almost like the nerves snuck up on me, "who's that walking on my bridge" as the trolls jump out to devour the poor little Billy goat. Ba-a-a-a-a-h!

When it comes to actual procedures, what to expect, I've done a fair amount of homework, I finally worked up the courage to watch the procedures highlighted with the Warning: Graphic! labels attached (Trust me, they deserve this designation ~*hurl*). I don't really care for surprises and would prefer to know what's coming. This whole process has been a long time coming and was subject to much scrutiny. It really has been saved as a last resort so I feel confident that this IS what I need to do. Does it sound to you like I'm trying to convince myself?! It's more all of the little uncontrollable extras that have my heart racing in the middle of the night. Some might even say that it's stupid stuff.

I guess the root of it is that I'm really struggling with how little the people around me comprehend just how scary this is, and if they don't get that, how in the heck are they going to get that I really am going to need help?! I have people come up and ask if I've had the surgery yet, people I see on a regular basis. I bite my tongue and refrain from screaming, "NO, Moron!"

To be even more honest, I HATE that I'm going to need help. Period. I don't want tubes invading every orifice (whether I'm aware of them or not). I don't want to drool like an imbecile and ooze bloody gunk uncontrollably for a couple of weeks, and not even know it. I don't want to feel like I'm choking & drowning inside my own fat head. I don't want to cheer the accomplishment of finally having the strength to shower, or pee without needing a nap. I don't want to view oatmeal as the great frontier in culinary accomplishment. Don't want weeks of swamp mouth. Don't want to wonder what lurks beneath the bruises. Don't want to wonder when a kiss will feel like a kiss. Can you just envision the toddler laying on the floor screaming: arms and legs pounding the floor? This is my tantrum.

Okay, so this might wake me up but I promise I'm not letting it keep me up; just a momentary blip in the hard drive. I do know that the whole one-day-at-a-time thing is important and the advantages to staying positive, which on most days I truly am. I love how real you all are in sharing what you're going through; I cheer your accomplishments, sympathize the setbacks. I KNOW all the right responses, expectations and actions to make it through this relatively my head. I suppose it's translating this into faith, feeling it in your heart and believing your head that's the clincher. (Orthognathic surgery as a religion? Hmmmmm....) Lather, rinse, repeat.

Ahhhhhh....Thanks guys. I feel better now. The goat DOES make it over that bridge, right? Better go outsmart me some trolls!

Tuesday, April 1, 2008


You know how everybody talks about how easily braces come off when this is all said and done? How, with just a bit of prying ~*POP*~ those suckers just snap off and the ortho is holding the wreckage, in one piece, in his hand? Must have been one crazy night 'cause i woke up holding a line of train track in my hand....pulled those suckers right out of there.


Not that anybody actually believed me, but it was worth a shot!!
(Cue *Wahh-wahh-wahhhhhh* sound clip)

So, I've been known to comment on the glorious, oh-so-trendy affects of various vices on dental aesthetics. Witness exhibit A:

Obviously, giving up such all-round destructive vices is the logically brilliant plan (Please don't message me on the virtues of quitting.......I am well-versed in the art of whacking myself repeatedly over the head with a 2X4 for my shortcomings!) however, there are times a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. In this case, it was (carefully) tooling a standard sewing needle between my teeth to gently scratch off the stains. Witness exhibit B:

Yes, I should (and will.......honest!) most likely make an appointment pretty soon for an actual official cleaning anyways, but this most certainly makes it easier to look at in the meantime!
Cleaning at Dentist: $120.
Sewing Needle (20pk.): $2.
A Little Creativity: Priceless.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Four Months Down...

...and who really knows at this stage just how many more to go. I doubt ANYone could really answer that for me just yet. So I cater to my need for fiddling and amuse myself with daily changes. For example: I had great molar connectivity for two weeks and could literally chew my salad! Now (yet again), not so much -the snake returns. If this were a cheap summer movie, It would be "Reptilian Invader VI". Kind of a "Rocky" or "Die Hard" thing, only instead of boxing or blowing stuff up - chewing. Blockbuster written all over it!

Well, I noticed that at two months (lame) I provided the comparison shot of my upper. Today I offer you the never-seen-before footage of my lower at the 4 month mark. I know I'm pathetic, (and have said it before) but I still find it amazing how much things are moving around even though it feels like NOTHING is moving. Arch is definitely rounding out nicely; teeth straighter and standing more upright. Curious to see how long it takes for the hole to fill in.

In other news, my oldest son is slated for a retainer come June. He's 8. And has a mouth like his Mama. Crap. The mission - and we've chosen to accept it- is to round out his upper and get those top teeth in front of his lowers, hopefully acting as a check to slow down his mandible as growth spurts come along. That and the boy's half shark. Little mouth + big adult teeth = ......well, let's just say it's crowded. Nothing's a given, but I'm sure willing to give it a shot. He just thinks it's cool he gets to go on Ortho-dates with Mom. Poor kid just might change his mind and rethink the whole "I even get to pick the colour!"

Friday, March 7, 2008

Surgeon General's Warning

I'm Baaaack! It's been one of the worst months of my (relatively short) life thus far, but things should start taking on some semblance of normalcy...heck, I'm praying for sweet boredom! Anyhow, thank you for your inquiries into being MIA. I am most certainly looking forward to getting caught up on what you've all been up to :)

Let's start with a bit of a photo shoot, shall we? I've well passed the 3 months braced point and am amazed by two things.

  • Except for the occasional new internal raw-rubbed area, there is precious little going on in my mouth in the discomfort department, and

  • Holy Schlamoly, are things ever moving around in there...weird.

So this is a profile shot from today. Note the 'cute' little turn-up thing my nose does. (My dad would probably say it's from the oh-so-attractive snot wiping method I employed as a child.) From an aesthetic point of view, this is something I will be ensuring my surgeon is well versed in, as a more common outcome from moving an upper jaw forward can be a more turned up and/or wider nose. "Thou shalt use the y or Alar stitch whilst rearranging mine face!" I'm okay with it as is, but don't care to look like a pug in the 'after' shots.

Oooow! This is pretty! If I had a facialist I'd be running for some TLC (not to mention nose-hair trimmers) right about now! Thought I'd show a close up, bite-wise, of the same profile shot. I know I'm not all that objective, particularly considering my proximity to the subject matter- haha, but to me, even though it's the same darn picture, when you get the whole thing it doesn't really look as bad. Hmmmm...if this theory plays out I really must stop staring at my butt in mirror.

Don't mind the boils, stress does wonders for the skin -what am I, THIRTEEN!!!

Blah de Blah. This pic gives a bit of an idea as to where mid lines are at. It also serves as a public health awareness poster showing the beauty benefits of tobacco on pearly whites. LOVE how the braces trap staining on my bottom front two teeth. As Ms. Hilton would say, "That's HOT!"

A picture I would truly love to share involves a piece of chocolate cake at a well attended social gathering. I literally swished that cake in my mouth before greeting and laughing with fellow party goers, acting as though absolutely nothing were out of the ordinary. OH! You should have seen the looks on peoples' faces as they tried not to stare in disgust at the murky goo deeply enmeshed amongst the hardware, but didn't know if they should point it out or not. The gig was up when I couldn't stop laughing at the horror in their eyes.

Don't get me wrong, I'll be a pig in poop when this is all well behind me, but me-oh-my is it fun in the meantime!

Ps. Oooooh! First NiTi's go on March 17th......maybe buttons, too!!!!

Saturday, February 16, 2008

The Stalker

That would be me, by the way. I know many of you have shared the fixation one can develop with categorizing everyone around by Malocclusion, suggested correction, necessity of Genio; perhaps even hazarding an estimate of required rotation/movement to within a millimeter... if this were a sport, I may now be worthy of being picked for the team. I, ever so subtle, (I hope!) shift myself to glimpse profiles from a better vantage point; focus all telekinetic energies on coaxing a smile. Heck, if they play hard to get, I'm not above flashing my overwhelming bling at them in hopes of eliciting an open-mouthed gasp of horror. *Click!* Gotcha!My mouth is boring right now, so focusing on others is a way to stay on top of my game. Speaking of opportunities in this regard, I just returned from a Week at Club Med (Bahamas) where I was definitely the only brace face on the whole Isle. (I'll post a pic soon but let me tell you just how WELL a tan sets off the sparkle on the 'ole grill.) I did notice the usual range of bites but granted how Class III is my honorary title, a couple of women definitely sharing this status particularly caught my eye: After much study, and successfully attaining enough varied views to come to some conclusion, I found that they both had Orthodontic work done - Chiclets that perfectly in a row and level, midlines to die me on this - but their top teeth were quite obviously tipped out to get an end on end bite. No Class I. Just enough to get contact. I found this very interesting, but I restrained myself from striking up the old "Are you happy with your bite?" line (I’m sure they hear it all the time!) I can only assume -& in complete ignorance- that discomfort was not the primary concern? Or maybe they heard 'surgery' and said to heck with that- make them as 'normal' as you can? Was this a common trend at one time or another? Wouldn't this potentially create a host of other problems down the road? Really, I'd love to hear what you think about this.

Monday, January 28, 2008

Don't Shoot!

Hooray! I am no longer being mistaken for a common woodland creature! I love my Orthodontist by the way. The office called me back Saturday evening to tell me I was doing everything right, but that Dr. Kaller was willing to see me the next day....Um....on SUNDAY?!?! I said thank you very much, but let's see what happens over night. It wasn't getting any bigger and there were no red streaks running down my neck, so I figured it wouldn't hurt salt-water swishing the night away (Pshhhhh...and some people think dancing on a Saturday night is exciting!) and wait for the morning reveal. The Tech said okay, but to call her cell in the a.m. to give her the scoop.

When I woke the goose egg wasn't any worse, but it hadn't gone down any, either, so I dutifully called in this report. She called back to say Dr.K would meet me at the office at 1:15 if I was willing. Sheesh, the last thing I want to do is foul up my OD's weekend with his family. I figure they're going to be seeing a lot of me in the future the LAST thing I want to do is be a royal pain in his keester now....I'd rather bank those kind of favours for a rainy day! But he insisted, and I must admit it was a huge relief to be getting his opinion.

He opened up the office and had a bit of a time finding all the necessary tools & joked that the tech's hid things on him as a means of job security! He was between his son's Science project and a hockey game....Are you getting the picture that I'm really loving my Ortho?!
He bent a particularly nasty hook on my very rear band and ground off the residual cement from when they installed the bands. INSTANT RELIEF- The swelling was 90% gone by bedtime. Between the marathon appointment I whined about earlier this week and the latest flesh wounds, my mouth was just severely annoyed with me. He did reassure that I wasn't an idiot & that I was to call him, weekend or not, if anything else goes awry at any time in this process.

I'll stop gushing now, but really.....I love my Orthodontist!!!!

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Can YOU see the difference?

I don't know WHAT the heck is going on but it's rather strange. Obviously, your cheeks ripped up following installation of new hardware is to be expected and this has most certainly been the case, however the left side is toughening up quite nicely. The strange part comes in with the right side. Yesterday afternoon I noticed that my lower right jaw bone is quite bruised feeling and that I seemed to be swelling up on this side as well. (Heck, I'm a female thus the notion of water retention crossed my mind, but that tends to settle lower down & with remarkable symmetry.) Not really painful...the inside is definitely still tender and not healing over, but overall just achy throbbing sort of stuff. I look like I have the half-mumps! I'm trying to smile evenly but it won't move the same.

I'm a little leery of just going to the hospital clinic as they are never fans of anything mouth or tooth related. They'll either just hand me a script for antibiotics to (they assume) make me feel like the issue has been addressed, or they say,"you probably have a bad tooth, go see your Dentist", who says ,"your teeth are fine, go to the clinic"....and so the circle goes. This was the trend when first trying to figure out what was going on with my crazy jaw-TMJ- stuff when it first started becoming a hassle.

So, here I wait for a call-back from my Ortho's office. If this is normal I'm quite happy to keep salt-water rinsing and wait it out. Or if this is strange, and a sore has become infected, I'd rather kick it out before it gets worse. I'm just not a fan of antibiotics unless it's absolutely necessary. Hmmmm. Anybody else have this happen?

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

The Next Great American Novel?

Oh the stories a mouth can tell.....if only the mouth can open far enough to reveal the juicy tidbits of knowledge gleaned through it's vast experiences. And my mouth could give you the next Pulitzer but, due to situations beyond it's control -lock down- you're stuck with the drugstore dime novel version, courtesy of yours truely's fingertips (and a healthy tipple added to my Tim's coffee). Think of it as the Cole's Notes of FINALLY being fully braced.

*Ummm, you don't get any visual accompaniment this time either due to the aforementioned handicap*

As most who might have stumbled across this will already have experienced, banding is a wee bit different from brackets. Bear with me as this was very illuminating for me, though feel free to nod and smile along with that knowing "Ah....yes..." purr in the back of your throat. Misery loves company after all :)

My 1 hour banding/wire change appointment ended up being a 2 1/2 hour marathon. On the way out the receptionist asked if she should be getting me lunch. Apparently each of the 8 molars to receive it's ring of 'promise' was a different size and none of which fell on an obvious marker; unlike shoes, my ortho's bands didn't come in half sizes. As each tooth was re-re-& re-fitted, I was envious of Goldilocks and the comparative ease with which she found her bed,chair and porridge to be declared "...Just Right!" By the time Dr. K approved final selection of bands, the old jaw was already on the verge of spasm, but No, he had to recheck one last time at which time the Bear trap sprang shut on his errant finger. Apologies aside, he was quick to note that I probably wasn't all that sorry. I commended him for his keen observational skills. HA!

Step one accomplished. Now to do the old lip extender assisted cementing of the bands. The 6's went on with nary a hitch - just the usual grunt-shove-bite-shove-bite again- to ensure proper fit, when it came time to cement the 7's. *SCHREECH!!!* (That's the sound of progress grinding to a halt, by the way) Oh, what do you's too tight now. The banded 6's are ensuring that the 7's go halfway and that's it. Let's take it off and try again! And Again.....Oh surely the third times a charm... Well perhaps Dr. Kaller can make it go on through his superhuman strength not yet displayed? (Nope, turns out he's a mere mortal as well.) Time to reveal plan 'J' with a choose your own adventure type ending: Let's put spacers back in and a) if you've had enough, come back next week and we'll band the 7's at that time or b) wait 5 minutes and try all over again. I chose option 'b' for two reasons:

  1. It was approaching lunch time & if I couldn't eat, NOBODY eats! and
  2. I knew by this point my jaw would be clamped shut for the duration of the week irregardless, I wasn't about to subject myself to the same all over again next week.

To wrap up the rambling and spare you even more repetition, they were finally successful with this rather important part of the process. Getting the wires in was a breeze and quite a relief as it doesn't require the equivalent of oral ashtanga yoga- no deep sustained stretching- YEAH! My lips and cheeks are now suffering post traumatic stress as not a millimeter was spared being rubbed raw from the struggle that ensued yesterday. It was a match that went all rounds and was touch & go by times - but guess who was declared the winner?

(Gotta love a surprise ending....)

No! ME, silly!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Witty Retorts

Question: (voiced with condescending semi-sneer) "Why do you have braces? Must be nice...I always wanted them but couldn't afford it..."

Response: (must be said in sincere, yet off-the-cuff manner)"Meh, my husband has a school girl fetish, so..."

This has proven most effective so far. I have another one, but due to crude content it shouldn't really be shared in such a public forum - you have to be more careful to whom it's expressed as well. :)

Well, I awoke this morning to, um, nothing going on in my mouth. I actually felt guilt over the lack of discomfort the spacers are causing as they seem to be such a nuisance to so many others. (I was kind of looking forward to a good rant concerning this, if I must be honest. I could bond with other agonizers: They GET me!!!) I hope this doesn't mean that they aren't working. How pathetic is that, eh? We get so used to embracing the "no pain no gain" in numerous aspects of our lives that I can't just be relieved at how smooth the sailing thus far; my first reactions are guilt and worry that they can't be doing their job?! Pooey on that!

Woo-Hoo! Spacers are a Breeze! This is great!

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

It's official...

I am one lousy photo taker. I've devoted a lifetime to fouling up every shot that might possibly contain myself within the frame which has resulted in three progressive findings.

1. Curbing the urge to pull a 'face'~or finger~just isn't natural and denies (what I believe to be) my hard earned talent.

2. Due to this gift there just aren't many decent photos out there (though a few hilarious ones are locked in the vault!)

3. Avoidance leads to indifference. Don't like being snapped so never bothered to become the snapper. Though now that I think of it, that would have been a clever solution producing an entirely different opening statement for this post. Hmmmmm...

Let's play a little word association shall we? You know how the game goes. I say a word and you shout out the first word that comes to your mind. I'll even get you warmed up! ..... HOT ...... BATHTUB ...... SCHOOL ..... ICE CREAM ..... SPACERS ......!

Ha! What I wouldn't give to have heard your replies to that last one! I have to be honest in that I was expecting a lot worse and can only say that 'a-stinkin-noying' would have to be my word. Either that or 'Zoodles' as that's the consistency of nourishment I've been reduced to eating once again. I'm staring to sense a pattern. Granted it's only day 2 and I've enjoyed much better oral stimulation on nearly ANY other given day (hee-hee!), but I'm functioning fairly normally. Keeping busy and thus distracted seems to be working okay. I'm rather amazed at the power a few teeny-tiny rubber disks can hold over the entirety of one's mouth. Gross, but want to see?

Nothing like a before & after at 2 months...sheesh! Ah, the baby steps that keep one focused. Works for me. The Ortho tech had quite a time wedging them in there and said she hopes they'll make enough room by Monday when they plan on banding and stringing the whole shebang together. She HOPES!!! I leave for a week in the Bahama's on February 2 - those bands are going on Jan.21 come heck or high water.....I'll take my vice grips and give her a hand if she needs....but I really want that week+ to get used to everything before taking off. Would rather toast the good times than end up moaning with Kenny Rogers.

Cheers to that?

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Happy New Year!

Trust everyone enjoyed pleasant times with family & friends over the Holiday Season! I know I did and if my sluggish disposition is any indicator, it may take just a wee bit to get back to routine. So worth it :)

I'm not really a 'resolution' kind of gal: much build up trying to accomplish too many things which ultimately ends in let down and self-recriminations. HOWEVER...I'm going to try weekly goals starting in little things and building to more that might matter in the grand scheme of things. Due to taking a bit of a hiatus on the teeth documentation front, this week it will be to get a pic up of present alignment. Isn't that lofty? Meh, Not much is going on right now anyways so keeping reference points up-to-date is rather where I'm at. But just wait 'till I get my spacers for rear brackets on the 14th - the weeping and wailing to come have me positively crackling with anticipation.....

OOOh! Kinda funny braces moment during the reveries of New Year's Eve. Apparently a sizable chunk of a Gherkin pickle I'd consumed previously had lodged itself somewhere among my oral bling and become a projectile during a moment of later merriment, landing on the table before me. Imagine the reactions of those around as I calmly proclaimed "Mmmm! I was looking for that!" and popped it back in my mouth. Ha! Embarrassment just makes others uncomfortable (0r triumphant) and who wants that? Hey, it was an accomplishment just to bite into that thing, period.