The Next Great American Novel?

Oh the stories a mouth can tell.....if only the mouth can open far enough to reveal the juicy tidbits of knowledge gleaned through it's vast experiences. And my mouth could give you the next Pulitzer but, due to situations beyond it's control -lock down- you're stuck with the drugstore dime novel version, courtesy of yours truely's fingertips (and a healthy tipple added to my Tim's coffee). Think of it as the Cole's Notes of FINALLY being fully braced.

*Ummm, you don't get any visual accompaniment this time either due to the aforementioned handicap*

As most who might have stumbled across this will already have experienced, banding is a wee bit different from brackets. Bear with me as this was very illuminating for me, though feel free to nod and smile along with that knowing "Ah....yes..." purr in the back of your throat. Misery loves company after all :)

My 1 hour banding/wire change appointment ended up being a 2 1/2 hour marathon. On the way out the receptionist asked if she should be getting me lunch. Apparently each of the 8 molars to receive it's ring of 'promise' was a different size and none of which fell on an obvious marker; unlike shoes, my ortho's bands didn't come in half sizes. As each tooth was re-re-& re-fitted, I was envious of Goldilocks and the comparative ease with which she found her bed,chair and porridge to be declared "...Just Right!" By the time Dr. K approved final selection of bands, the old jaw was already on the verge of spasm, but No, he had to recheck one last time at which time the Bear trap sprang shut on his errant finger. Apologies aside, he was quick to note that I probably wasn't all that sorry. I commended him for his keen observational skills. HA!

Step one accomplished. Now to do the old lip extender assisted cementing of the bands. The 6's went on with nary a hitch - just the usual grunt-shove-bite-shove-bite again- to ensure proper fit, when it came time to cement the 7's. *SCHREECH!!!* (That's the sound of progress grinding to a halt, by the way) Oh, what do you know...it's too tight now. The banded 6's are ensuring that the 7's go halfway and that's it. Let's take it off and try again! And Again.....Oh surely the third times a charm... Well perhaps Dr. Kaller can make it go on through his superhuman strength not yet displayed? (Nope, turns out he's a mere mortal as well.) Time to reveal plan 'J' with a choose your own adventure type ending: Let's put spacers back in and a) if you've had enough, come back next week and we'll band the 7's at that time or b) wait 5 minutes and try all over again. I chose option 'b' for two reasons:

1. It was approaching lunch time & if I couldn't eat, NOBODY eats! and
2. I knew by this point my jaw would be clamped shut for the duration of the week irregardless, I wasn't about to subject myself to the same all over again next week.

To wrap up the rambling and spare you even more repetition, they were finally successful with this rather important part of the process. Getting the wires in was a breeze and quite a relief as it doesn't require the equivalent of oral ashtanga yoga- no deep sustained stretching- YEAH! My lips and cheeks are now suffering post traumatic stress as not a millimeter was spared being rubbed raw from the struggle that ensued yesterday. It was a match that went all rounds and was touch & go by times - but guess who was declared the winner?

(Gotta love a surprise ending....)

No! ME, silly!