Saturday, November 7, 2009

Breaking the Sound Barrier

It's almost unbelievable how much time has passed since last posting. I say 'almost' as in retrospect, looking over all that has happened since surgery, there is no way to deny that those days have definitely been accounted for.
The slingshot effect. Time slows down as each incident occurs at a snails pace. Waiting. Then, that moment of complete pause, those days immediately following breakage when I swear the clock literally stops. Suckage. Then? Holy snap, you're hurtling head over heals through the air with the force of a rocket launcher; arms and legs flailing wildly trying to ensure when you land it's on both feet. Reality.
Honestly, Ifelt like I'd been carrying on living my life in the buildup to Operation Jigsaw. Yes, it was on my mind. A lot. In hindsight I had NO idea how very all consuming it had become. Normal? I think so. It's a BIG deal! As soon as I got the all clear from dear Surgeon at 4 weeks post-op, I was catapulted from that slingshot back into regular life at such a dizzying pace that, don't hate me, It's not often I even think about surgery at all. Someone I haven't seen in ages will ask how I'm feeling and, apologies, I look at them like they have two heads. What are they talking about? Oh. Thaaaaaat. Normal? I think so. I hope so.
Life is good, my friends. It's crazy, unpredictable, ever-evolving and hectic, but good. Because it's NOT governed by apprehension, discomfort, nerves and WAITING. It's past.
I still loathe getting pics taken. I've come to the conclusion it's not my jaw that makes me a dork in photos, I'm just a dork, haha. This was snapped on holiday last week, one of the few, but at least it shows my profile.
Perhaps I'm weird, but I've not had any strange "who am I" feelings when looking in the mirror. Things puffed and receded and though I'm sure I look a bit different (looking at my new passport pic in comparison to the old threw me momentarily) I was just SOOO thrilled to have jaws that fit together I was preoccupied with joy at this new trick. Click clicking my teeth together at every opportunity to show off my mad skillz. How fast this becomes normal, too, and I click less and less. Just every once in a while like remembering an old pleasantry. Ah, remember when?
I just feel like me.