It's ME

This time next week, the iv will have been inserted, I'll be wearing hospital garb and singing "Take Me Out To The Balllllllllgame..." ~off key, of course~ while waiting to be wheeled into the cold sterile environment of an Operating Theatre. It feels surreal at this moment. I won't say I don't feel nervous 'cause I'm pretty sure what I'm feeling is nerves, but it's not overwhelming. More a case of the jitters where I just can't stay still or focus on anything for very long. Jumpy. Waiting for the crack of the starter's pistol.

Surgical hooks are placed between each tooth and with the exception of storing snacks for a rainy day, I have yet to reach for the case of wax scoffed from the Ortho's in anticipation of what could be. *shrug* No biggie.

Yesterday was the day of hurry up and wait: pre-op clinics at the hospital and surgeon's. A whole lot of nod and smile as you get re-told everything you've already gone over. Do they think you're going to change your mind, jump up screaming "WHAT? You're gonna do WHAT?!" It was nice that Jonathan came for these visits, though. It let him hear everything first hand from the powers that be, instead of listening to me go on about it.

I scored these from the surgeon:

Always fun seeing your innards and the kids love how the hooks show so well in the Pan x ray.

I'm not putting up the projected 'dolphin' morph pictures The Man presented me. They are horrid. And wonderful. Confused?

First the horrid. They are confirmation of why I hate pictures taken. Holy snap they were that bad. It was a National Enquirer version of some Celeb being caught without makeup and being outed as a trans-gendered druggie giving birth to alien babies. The first thing Jonathan said when we got back in the car was "Dude. You do NOT look like that. Trust me. Those sucked." I hadn't said anything but he knew where my brain was. How can you like the projection when based on horror?

The wonderful. There was so little difference between the before and after. So subtle that if you blink twice you might have imagined anything varied at all. Still confused? If you haven't been following my narcissistic self-centred tale or woe from the beginning, you might have missed that with the exception of a potentially more-balanced profile as bonus, I'm doing this because of long standing jaw pain.

Yes, I have an underbite from the upper not growing enough but it is not an in-your-face underbite. My upper jaw is skewed to my right giving a crossbite, but it's not horrendous. It's just enough that Orthodontics alone can't straighten it. Enough that my teeth won't line up and let me chew properly. Enough that my joints get strained with every bite. And the best? Enough that I will recognize myself when this is all over!