Howdy We're Home

We're back home now! Time goes WAYYYYY to slowly in hospital, so I proved I could drink, pee and all the other pre-requisites and was given the boot. Things went relatively smoothly and I'll try to bring you up to speed in the near future.

For now, Crazy throat from the breathing and stomach sucking implements is the biggest discomfort right now. As long as you remember to relax it's all good. NOT a fan of the pressure bandage~ ITCHY! and does some weird shoving and lump and bump making.

This is about 6 hours post-op. Made Jonathan stumble around behind me on one of many short jaunts. Looking fruity but up and at em pretty good.
Trust me, I felt swollen here, but now I can reassure you it hadn't yet begun!
I'm crazy looped on morphine and percocet right now, but wanted to reassure all went well and made it home okay. Will catch up soon :)






~Daily JAW~

Junk: Throat feels tight, hard to breathe, swallowing the "lump"

Assess: It's Early, but feeling way better than I'd of thought

Wow: So good to be home!

Potty Mouth

In the interest of full disclosure in this endeavour, I won't lie to you. I'm pooping my pants a little. It's contained though, harhar! I wanted to do a big "last hurrah" but am having difficulty forming coherent sentences. And the battery in my camera died. Should have checked that before I bothered brushing my teeth....

Anyhow, the kids are dropped off at their grandparents' which led to a few tears (mine~ alone in my car), my house looks like a bomb hit and I'm taking off for an evening of distraction: a school membership meeting, a Big Mac meal, Hubby's ball hockey game, and then if the clock allows and I've not turned back into a pumpkin, perhaps another Big Mac meal. Each of these equally important events will be accompanied by a fresh Tim's coffee~ double, double. I'm not sleeping anyways so we'll go for a grease/caffeine-induced coma. WEEEeeeeee!

Thank you so much for the encouragement, thoughts, prayers and Boo-ya's. I'm not WiFi compatible so Dark Side posts won't be forth-coming 'till I'm back home Sunday. I love you guys :)

Good Luck to Stephanie on your Surgery Monday!

~ Daily J.A.W. ~

Junk: Feel like a space cadet

Assessment: This will soon be enhanced by Percocet & Ativan

Wow: Last night with an underbite!

Haiku

Just Jaw-filled Jumble
Sleeping Seldom Satisfied
Jittery, Jumpy.

Prescriptions Picked up
Percocet Preparedness
Pink Penicillin.

Back for Braces Fix
Ortho Observes Orally
Surgical Spikes Skewed.

Hair Highlighted, Hot
Pre-game Show is Commencing
Last Thoughts Coming Soon.

It's ME

This time next week, the iv will have been inserted, I'll be wearing hospital garb and singing "Take Me Out To The Balllllllllgame..." ~off key, of course~ while waiting to be wheeled into the cold sterile environment of an Operating Theatre. It feels surreal at this moment. I won't say I don't feel nervous 'cause I'm pretty sure what I'm feeling is nerves, but it's not overwhelming. More a case of the jitters where I just can't stay still or focus on anything for very long. Jumpy. Waiting for the crack of the starter's pistol.

Surgical hooks are placed between each tooth and with the exception of storing snacks for a rainy day, I have yet to reach for the case of wax scoffed from the Ortho's in anticipation of what could be. *shrug* No biggie.

Yesterday was the day of hurry up and wait: pre-op clinics at the hospital and surgeon's. A whole lot of nod and smile as you get re-told everything you've already gone over. Do they think you're going to change your mind, jump up screaming "WHAT? You're gonna do WHAT?!" It was nice that Jonathan came for these visits, though. It let him hear everything first hand from the powers that be, instead of listening to me go on about it.

I scored these from the surgeon:

Always fun seeing your innards and the kids love how the hooks show so well in the Pan x ray.

I'm not putting up the projected 'dolphin' morph pictures The Man presented me. They are horrid. And wonderful. Confused?

First the horrid. They are confirmation of why I hate pictures taken. Holy snap they were that bad. It was a National Enquirer version of some Celeb being caught without makeup and being outed as a trans-gendered druggie giving birth to alien babies. The first thing Jonathan said when we got back in the car was "Dude. You do NOT look like that. Trust me. Those sucked." I hadn't said anything but he knew where my brain was. How can you like the projection when based on horror?

The wonderful. There was so little difference between the before and after. So subtle that if you blink twice you might have imagined anything varied at all. Still confused? If you haven't been following my narcissistic self-centred tale or woe from the beginning, you might have missed that with the exception of a potentially more-balanced profile as bonus, I'm doing this because of long standing jaw pain.

Yes, I have an underbite from the upper not growing enough but it is not an in-your-face underbite. My upper jaw is skewed to my right giving a crossbite, but it's not horrendous. It's just enough that Orthodontics alone can't straighten it. Enough that my teeth won't line up and let me chew properly. Enough that my joints get strained with every bite. And the best? Enough that I will recognize myself when this is all over!

A Slight-Of-Hand

So far this week I've had my family physician pow-wow, been officially stamped as wonderfully healthy by both doctor & dentist, had enough blood drawn to fill a moat (and didn't pass out! which is pretty new for me, a chronic blood-related fainter), EKG stickers applied and ripped off like bandaids, peed in various receptacles, had teeth scraped, scaled and baking soda blasted...

Coversation as heard in my house this morning:

"Ow, ow, ow!"

"Are you stretching down there?"

"Feel the BURN!"

"No really, are you okay?"

"I'm trying to get up! Help!"

.....and signed up for a Body Bootcamp. I'm a fairly active person who suffers from lack of self-motivation by times, so I thought I'd give this new class a go. Oh MY! You know when you do something a little different and talk about finding new muscles you didn't know existed? How this is normally restricted to a specific body area depending on that activity?

I posses a whole second body, living within the known one like a parasite. That new-found one hurts. Everywhere. ALOT. But what a hoot~ I can't wait for next week. I can't move but inside I'm all pumped and raring to go!

How is this jaw related? I guess it's not directly associated, except that the nerves are creeping in on occasion and I wanted to channel that adrenaline into a tangible, completely separate outlet. I suppose housework or never-ending laundry would have sufficed, but I have to do that anyways and it just feels like more jaw-surgery prep. I'm doing hot yoga on Saturday, so I can add sweaty pain to the list :)

This week's been busy on the Doctor front though surgery still feels a long way off. The one coming up is fairly quiet~ a calm before the storm. Time to catch my breath before the whirlwind picks up and I'm dumped unceremoniously on "the other side" without warning.

Breathe.

BRING IT!

The Quartermaster

At this stage of the game there's not a whole lot of juiciness to pass on, just counting "bullets & beans". A few of my dates got changed, but nothing that affects THE date. Ortho was going to do hooks on the 13th (bless them) but Grand Pu bah wants them on for our May 7th pow-wow ~ so hooks on the 6th it is. I'm to the point this doesn't bother me, though the tale might digress somewhat if I'm consuming my body weight in wax following installation. Yum.

I have to wait for the goodies in Head Honcho's 'mystery-bag-of-delight', but allow me to share a smattering of my nesting compulsions thus far.

I've decided not to go the zip-n-squeeze route. Perhaps there will be cursing later, but I've practiced with my baster, improvised baby bottles, flexible paper cups and squeeze bottles and think there's enough option & variety to suffice. I've stocked up on all things liquid; from sweet to bland to savoury, thin to thick consistency, to make sure there's no excuse against getting those calories in.

My ipod is full of playlists for evey mood, as is the variety of movies & books at hand. The humidifier is at the ready and juicer well-broken in.

My most substantial purchase? That Lazyboy recliner (OH! so comfy like a hug!) I tried out all kinds of chairs offered as loaners from family and felt like Goldilocks. Couldn't imagine sleeping in them for a night let alone weeks. This one is Juuuuuust right!

My favourite purchase? That ladybug neck pillow, how cute and cheery is that?!

I know all too well from the openness of our fellow bloggers just how unprepared I'll feel with the emotional roller coaster that is jaw surgery. I'm just trying to keep an open mind that it WILL be a roller coaster and will cross those bridges and hurdles as they come. Physical preparedness is not something I want to worry about on top of it all.

I've been studying the supplement options for a while now and was quite impressed by the Vita Medica product that Rita mentioned her surgeon giving her as it has everything I want in one handy program. Figures I can't get it in Canada. So I made note of the dosage recommendations and individually got:

Bromelain and Quercetin (for the swelling- I'm allergic to advil and anti-inflammatory meds), homeopathic Calcium/minerals (for bone support and a form that doesn't build up in your body), Arnica (both topical and internal for bruising) and a liquid multi-vitamin for over all health. In the meantime I'll be switching my regular B complex super vitamin to one that doesn't have vitamin E and will stop juicing ginger root and garlic a couple of weeks prior to surgery due to their blood thinning properties.

Phew! Wasn't that exciting? Hope nobody passed out in a puddle of drool. This is where I'm at for today :)

Now Accepting Applications~

~For a full-time Administrative Assistant. Applicants must have exemplary phone and scheduling skills, be well versed in the art of bribery and display strong motivational fortitude. Ability to talk someone down off a ledge a must. Serious inquiries only. Broad knowledge of show tunes an asset though not mandatory.

Okay, I have officially completed nailing down and booking all those crazy appointments that have to happen before one sets foot in the OR and my overwhelming observation is, IF it weren't so darn exciting it might seem a tad bit daunting. Heavy emphasis on the 'IF'. Drum roll please:

• April 2: Complete Physical
• April 20: Dental Cleaning
• April 21: Pre-op with Family Doctor
• May 7: Hospital Pre-Op & Admissions
• May 7: Surgeon's Clinic and Workup
• May 13: Surgical Hooks
• May 15: Um.... I KNOW there's something...

A bit belated perhaps, but the re-consult at the Great One's office was a raging success. We laughed, danced, high-fived,broke into song. Who am I kidding: I marched in, grabbed him by the scruff of his well-pressed shirt, shook him 3 times and a date popped out. Mission accomplished.

The game plan is still a Lefort 1 + Genioplasty, though it's looking like a segmented Lefort is back off the table. Sweet. He'll present the full details and show me projected pictures at the May 7 appointment and I get a knapsack of goodies at that time too, just like Christmas! He's keeping me two nights in the hospital because I'm an out-of-towner. May long weekend in a ward room. The only part I'm not too keen on.

For the first week home my kids will be at my in-laws. Close enough if I want a visit and school can proceed as normal, far enough that their mother's face not inspire nightmares. Hubby is taking the week off to play nurse as he looks darn cute in the outfit and is a sucker for punishment.

The 2nd week, My mom is coming to beg the husband not to leave me, ferry kids to school, be a general wonder woman, and put up with me. It's in the mom job description.

I've had my supply kit assembled for months now, compiled a list of soups to have frozen and at the ready, my overnight bag packed and sitting by the front door. The 'easy' stuff is done and accounted for.

Now for the hard part. I've been using the "I need my date" excuse as a security blanket, shielding me from the biggest goal I want to accomplish before getting hacked in twain. Quit Smoking. Period. Welcome to the first day of a new adventure~ Wish me luck.

MAY 15!

Well snap, would you look at that?

Right purty don't cha think?

Details to follow. Tonight I'm just absorbing~ a sponge *shprulp!*

Head's UP

I made my weekly call to 'Those Who Run Interference' yesterday, all Sweet & Light as per norm. Did they have a cancellation?

I have an appointment this afternoon at 1:00!

Guess how much sleeping took place last night?

That magic date? I'll know this afternoon...

Of COURSE you'll be the first to know!

Anticip-p-p-p-PAtion!

As a rule, I am not one of those people who likes surprises. To clarify, I am not one of those people who likes surprises when I know somethings coming. If it happens out of the blue, there is no awareness that anythings up? That's fine and dandy and I will be full of glee (or weep & wail and get over it) accordingly. But tell me to "wait for it!" and watch me unravel: Accelerated heartbeat? Check. Rapid breathing? Check. Say 'hi' and watch me jump 10 feet in the air? Check. I. Like. Game plans. Even if the plan is to be spontaneous: totally kosher, as long as we're clear that we're being spontaneous.

Why am I rambling about surprises anyways? Well, I'm such a patient soul (harHar!). Ever since those molds were taken I've been doing the whole, "Does the surgeon call me to come in? Does he call the Ortho who calls me to call the surgeon? Do I call the surgeon?" Worst fear was waiting for a phone to ring that was NEVER going to ring. So of course I did the calling. First to the Ortho to make sure molds had been sent. She assured me she had personally couriered them & they should arrive at destination chop-shop by Friday. That it was totally acceptable to call and set something up if I hadn't heard anything by the middle of next week.

Of course, my brain interpreted this as "D'uh! If he'll have them Friday, I'm calling Friday!"

I did. And lovely Tanya was amazingly patient with me. Those models had just marched in the door. Know when the next date is for a re-consult? April 6th! Know what the best thing is since sliced bread? A cancellation list! Guess what sweetness and all thing light gets you? A spot at the top of it! What will be the death of me in the meantime? Waiting for that phone to ring.

The moral of this circular tale: Always be nice with the one controlling the appointment books. When my phone rings, Tanya's totally getting cookies.