One Love!

If I was any good with Paint (or such related programs) I'd have put braces on Mr. Marley. As such, I have offered to be the brace-faced rep to Jamaica in his stead. 2 weeks till take off!!

I previously shared the joy being the only metallic person in the Bahamas, but will be at a more family-friendly resort this time *read : should not be soooo alooooone -Bring it, kiddies! *

What to pack. Hmmm. I'm evolving into a minimalist packer and have the clothing/toiletries down to a science ~ then we come to mouth stuff. Is it wrong that the various accessories, scrubbers, pickers, flossers, take up half my suitcase? That I'll take an electrical currency converter to ensure the use of my water pic?

My Nemesis

See this baby? This yawning hole is ALL that's standing between the author and her surgery. Humph! Upper is good to go; no new wire or tweaking at all to be done. BORING. Unfortunately, closing this hole is going to take some time. At the June appointment, we introduced a section of power chain tugging the premolar towards the hook on my wire.

Yesterday Dr. Kaller changed the elastic...but that's it. The SUPER bummer of the situation is that once that premolar is moving, we still have to get the molars behind to also move forward into place........*sigh*.

(In other news: My ring is back, fixed, real and looks brand new............YAY!!!!!!)

Random Smatterings

Where does the time go to so very quickly? It's been a MONTH since last posting?? Sheesh! What has happened in the last month....hmmmm.

Well for one, I turned the (like-it-really-means-anything) big 3-0. I spent my whole day shovelling poo out of my barn (congratulations to ME!). Adding insult to injury, while cleaning said barn the diamond from my engagement ring fell out and is lost forever to the poo. Won't lie to you. I cried. ALOT. I know it's just a 'thing', nobody died, yadda yadda. It's knowing the amount of thought that went into the ring; the sentiment and symbolism of the promise held within it. It's not like it was a mammoth rock or anything..but it was MINE! Grrr. Will have to put Cubic Zircona in it for the time being, (shhh don't tell!) but at least it will be wearable till in can be replaced with the real deal.

I continue to be bored with my mouth. The latest adjustment brought surgical wires and a heavy duty elastic spanning the gap where that lower 4th was removed, and a quip that as soon as that gap is closed I'll be ready for the big day. That sounds promising except that it involves moving everything from the back forward on that side, and we all know how quickly (NOT!) molars like to shuffle along. I actually felt the adjustment, (my teeth hurt and everything!), for a full two days ( which is a first), so I was jumping up and down all "they hurt, they hurt! Yay! They're moving!" and then.........nothing. This is one of those patience things we keep hearing about right? As soon as I brush my teeth & have a camera close by within the same hour, I'll pop a pic in.

Kind of drab post, sorry, but I wanted you to know I haven't bailed :)

Pat Me On the Head...

...and call me Fido, 'cause what a good girl I am. I finally steeled the reserve to get my teeth (properly) scaled and sandblasted. But before you get the wrong idea thinking this star is a commendation to self ~ it is NOT.

Rather, it is posthumously bestowed upon the goddess of Oral hygiene, Robin, who did such a spectacular job causing me NO discomfort at my first ever braced cleaning that I would hug her had this not been our first encounter (and as strangers, no matter how intimate they may be with your mouth, tend to have requests for restraining orders against panting, pathetic patients on speed dial)!

Perhaps I should jump back for a second with the delayed preface that "I LOATHE CLEANINGS. " Kick me in the shins, please. Slam my fingers in the car door, Ya! Tie me up and throw burning coals in my lap...okay, you get the picture. But what's with the amazing capabilities of such otherwise pleasant-looking people to immediately find that last nerve and pick, pick, pick, till you want to die, die, DIE!!!! Normally I give them a heads up of the specific area that triggers the " Oh! I WILL bite you" reflex, but then they seem annoyed you spoiled their sport and zero in on it like a master marksman. (Sadomasochistic something-or-others... )

So imagine the surprise when, with great trepidation, I explained my sensitive bits and she listened. And.....(angel choirs break forth) tread gently and carefully with caution and concern. A rare gem, she is. Obviously, I had reception bold, italicize AND highlight that Robin is to perform my next cleaning - which is booked - & I can't wait.

You know when you find the right spot to scratch on your favourite pooch, the eyes role back & that ole hind leg gets thumping a furious tattoo? Ahhhhhhhhh!

B-O-R-D BORED!

Does this stack look familiar to anybody else, just a different day? I confess to being rather reluctant to post as there just isn't that much to say right now. I was hoping for something hilarious to happen that could at least keep you folks entertained 'till something of consequence came up....but....
nope. Such small fry compared to the big stuff going on.


Most notably a massive (Al Pacino-Esq) HOO-ah! to Heather and Leah -their surgeries this past Wednesday and today, respectively- and Holly chomping at the bit with just 11 sleeps to go. We're all rooting for you, ladies!


It is nice in slower moments like this to just carry on carrying on as if there is no "someday" looming on my personal horizon; to follow what everyone else is up to and Cheer you on as LOTS is happening, without being too caught up in my own oral issues to try and really hear what you're trying to say. So whether I'm flooding you with comments or all seems silent, I'm most certainly up-to-date with you guys. Please! For the time being, let me live vicariously through you!

Nothing shattering, but I did finally do the old, "So.......how are things moving?....Are we on schedule...." all nonchalant-like and merely mildly interested, to my OD at the last adjustment. Trust me, inside I was shaking him by his Gap button-down polo 'till HIS teeth moved, screaming "Tell me,tell me, TELL ME NOW!!!!" *sigh* the restraint nearly killed me ~ My
fellow orthodontees were silently directing Oscar nods my way. THAT relaxed.

Anyhow, he informed me things are moving right on schedule and June 3rd I graduate to my Surgical wires and...wait for it...elastics! Yay, me. Arches, as whacked as they appear & feel, are nearly where they want them, so focus will be switched to finally closing the downstairs, yawning hole where my tooth used to be. I'm stuck with these glorious mid-lines until they're rearranged on J (jaw)-Day.

July will usher in more bubblegum goo (It's been a while, so I've almost missed this delicacy) to make my first braced impressions to be sent to the Surgeon. I loved hearing this part (but still looked cool, promise, no outward drooling with excitement) as it reaffirmed that there is a surgery going to be in here somewhere; they hadn't forgotten the god-like being who's to both shove Humpty off the wall AND put her back together again.

Trolls and Tantrums

nce upon a time, in a land far, far away there lived a goat who spent her days skipping merrily through the meadow; exploring pastures abundant in tender grasses with a bounce in her step and a crown of jewels within her mouth. Content (and not saddled with directional impairment), Her life was rather pleasant , unhindered, free .......



Then why in tarnation do I all of a sudden feel like FREAKING OUT!!! No worries, this too shall pass, yada yada yada, and let's not forget how very long it is until anythings even going to happen, but it's almost like the nerves snuck up on me, "who's that walking on my bridge" as the trolls jump out to devour the poor little Billy goat. Ba-a-a-a-a-h!

When it comes to actual procedures, what to expect, I've done a fair amount of homework, I finally worked up the courage to watch the procedures highlighted with the Warning: Graphic! labels attached (Trust me, they deserve this designation ~*hurl*). I don't really care for surprises and would prefer to know what's coming. This whole process has been a long time coming and was subject to much scrutiny. It really has been saved as a last resort so I feel confident that this IS what I need to do. Does it sound to you like I'm trying to convince myself?! It's more all of the little uncontrollable extras that have my heart racing in the middle of the night. Some might even say that it's stupid stuff.

I guess the root of it is that I'm really struggling with how little the people around me comprehend just how scary this is, and if they don't get that, how in the heck are they going to get that I really am going to need help?! I have people come up and ask if I've had the surgery yet, people I see on a regular basis. I bite my tongue and refrain from screaming, "NO, Moron!"

To be even more honest, I HATE that I'm going to need help. Period. I don't want tubes invading every orifice (whether I'm aware of them or not). I don't want to drool like an imbecile and ooze bloody gunk uncontrollably for a couple of weeks, and not even know it. I don't want to feel like I'm choking & drowning inside my own fat head. I don't want to cheer the accomplishment of finally having the strength to shower, or pee without needing a nap. I don't want to view oatmeal as the great frontier in culinary accomplishment. Don't want weeks of swamp mouth. Don't want to wonder what lurks beneath the bruises. Don't want to wonder when a kiss will feel like a kiss. Can you just envision the toddler laying on the floor screaming: arms and legs pounding the floor? This is my tantrum.

Okay, so this might wake me up but I promise I'm not letting it keep me up; just a momentary blip in the hard drive. I do know that the whole one-day-at-a-time thing is important and the advantages to staying positive, which on most days I truly am. I love how real you all are in sharing what you're going through; I cheer your accomplishments, sympathize the setbacks. I KNOW all the right responses, expectations and actions to make it through this relatively unscathed....in my head. I suppose it's translating this into faith, feeling it in your heart and believing your head that's the clincher. (Orthognathic surgery as a religion? Hmmmmm....) Lather, rinse, repeat.

Ahhhhhh....Thanks guys. I feel better now. The goat DOES make it over that bridge, right? Better go outsmart me some trolls!

Uh-Oh.

You know how everybody talks about how easily braces come off when this is all said and done? How, with just a bit of prying ~*POP*~ those suckers just snap off and the ortho is holding the wreckage, in one piece, in his hand? Must have been one crazy night 'cause i woke up holding a line of train track in my hand....pulled those suckers right out of there.

APRIL FOOLS!!!

Not that anybody actually believed me, but it was worth a shot!!

(Cue *Wahh-wahh-wahhhhhh* sound clip)

So, I've been known to comment on the glorious, oh-so-trendy affects of various vices on dental aesthetics. Witness exhibit A:

Obviously, giving up such all-round destructive vices is the logically brilliant plan (Please don't message me on the virtues of quitting.......I am well-versed in the art of whacking myself repeatedly over the head with a 2X4 for my shortcomings!) however, there are times a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. In this case, it was (carefully) tooling a standard sewing needle between my teeth to gently scratch off the stains. Witness exhibit B:

Yes, I should (and will.......honest!) most likely make an appointment pretty soon for an actual official cleaning anyways, but this most certainly makes it easier to look at in the meantime!

Cleaning at Dentist: $120.

Sewing Needle (20pk.): $2.

A Little Creativity: Priceless.

Four Months Down...

...and who really knows at this stage just how many more to go. I doubt ANYone could really answer that for me just yet. So I cater to my need for fiddling and amuse myself with daily changes. For example: I had great molar connectivity for two weeks and could literally chew my salad! Now (yet again), not so much -the snake returns. If this were a cheap summer movie, It would be "Reptilian Invader VI". Kind of a "Rocky" or "Die Hard" thing, only instead of boxing or blowing stuff up - chewing. Blockbuster written all over it!

Well, I noticed that at two months (lame) I provided the comparison shot of my upper. Today I offer you the never-seen-before footage of my lower at the 4 month mark. I know I'm pathetic, (and have said it before) but I still find it amazing how much things are moving around even though it feels like NOTHING is moving. Arch is definitely rounding out nicely; teeth straighter and standing more upright. Curious to see how long it takes for the hole to fill in.

In other news, my oldest son is slated for a retainer come June. He's 8. And has a mouth like his Mama. Crap. The mission - and we've chosen to accept it- is to round out his upper and get those top teeth in front of his lowers, hopefully acting as a check to slow down his mandible as growth spurts come along. That and the boy's half shark. Little mouth + big adult teeth = ......well, let's just say it's crowded. Nothing's a given, but I'm sure willing to give it a shot. He just thinks it's cool he gets to go on Ortho-dates with Mom. Poor kid just might change his mind and rethink the whole "I even get to pick the colour!"

Surgeon General's Warning

I'm Baaaack! It's been one of the worst months of my (relatively short) life thus far, but things should start taking on some semblance of normalcy...heck, I'm praying for sweet boredom! Anyhow, thank you for your inquiries into being MIA. I am most certainly looking forward to getting caught up on what you've all been up to :)

Let's start with a bit of a photo shoot, shall we? I've well passed the 3 months braced point and am amazed by two things.

• Except for the occasional new internal raw-rubbed area, there is precious little going on in my mouth in the discomfort department, and


• Holy Schlamoly, are things ever moving around in there...weird.

So this is a profile shot from today. Note the 'cute' little turn-up thing my nose does. (My dad would probably say it's from the oh-so-attractive snot wiping method I employed as a child.) From an aesthetic point of view, this is something I will be ensuring my surgeon is well versed in, as a more common outcome from moving an upper jaw forward can be a more turned up and/or wider nose. "Thou shalt use the y or Alar stitch whilst rearranging mine face!" I'm okay with it as is, but don't care to look like a pug in the 'after' shots.

Oooow! This is pretty! If I had a facialist I'd be running for some TLC (not to mention nose-hair trimmers) right about now! Thought I'd show a close up, bite-wise, of the same profile shot. I know I'm not all that objective, particularly considering my proximity to the subject matter- haha, but to me, even though it's the same darn picture, when you get the whole thing it doesn't really look as bad. Hmmmm...if this theory plays out I really must stop staring at my butt in mirror.

Don't mind the boils, stress does wonders for the skin -what am I, THIRTEEN!!!

Blah de Blah. This pic gives a bit of an idea as to where mid lines are at. It also serves as a public health awareness poster showing the beauty benefits of tobacco on pearly whites. LOVE how the braces trap staining on my bottom front two teeth. As Ms. Hilton would say, "That's HOT!"

A picture I would truly love to share involves a piece of chocolate cake at a well attended social gathering. I literally swished that cake in my mouth before greeting and laughing with fellow party goers, acting as though absolutely nothing were out of the ordinary. OH! You should have seen the looks on peoples' faces as they tried not to stare in disgust at the murky goo deeply enmeshed amongst the hardware, but didn't know if they should point it out or not. The gig was up when I couldn't stop laughing at the horror in their eyes.

Don't get me wrong, I'll be a pig in poop when this is all well behind me, but me-oh-my is it fun in the meantime!

Ps. Oooooh! First NiTi's go on March 17th......maybe buttons, too!!!!

The Stalker

That would be me, by the way. I know many of you have shared the fixation one can develop with categorizing everyone around by Malocclusion, suggested correction, necessity of Genio; perhaps even hazarding an estimate of required rotation/movement to within a millimeter... if this were a sport, I may now be worthy of being picked for the team. I, ever so subtle, (I hope!) shift myself to glimpse profiles from a better vantage point; focus all telekinetic energies on coaxing a smile. Heck, if they play hard to get, I'm not above flashing my overwhelming bling at them in hopes of eliciting an open-mouthed gasp of horror. *Click!* Gotcha!My mouth is boring right now, so focusing on others is a way to stay on top of my game. Speaking of opportunities in this regard, I just returned from a Week at Club Med (Bahamas) where I was definitely the only brace face on the whole Isle. (I'll post a pic soon but let me tell you just how WELL a tan sets off the sparkle on the 'ole grill.) I did notice the usual range of bites but granted how Class III is my honorary title, a couple of women definitely sharing this status particularly caught my eye: After much study, and successfully attaining enough varied views to come to some conclusion, I found that they both had Orthodontic work done - Chiclets that perfectly in a row and level, midlines to die for....trust me on this - but their top teeth were quite obviously tipped out to get an end on end bite. No Class I. Just enough to get contact. I found this very interesting, but I restrained myself from striking up the old "Are you happy with your bite?" line (I’m sure they hear it all the time!) I can only assume -& in complete ignorance- that discomfort was not the primary concern? Or maybe they heard 'surgery' and said to heck with that- make them as 'normal' as you can? Was this a common trend at one time or another? Wouldn't this potentially create a host of other problems down the road? Really, I'd love to hear what you think about this.