"All the better to BITE you with, my dear!"

GUESS What happens tomorrow?????

2010-01-26T08:35:00.000-06:00

Hehehehehehehehehehehehe ;)

Breaking the Sound Barrier

2009-11-07T09:09:00.007-06:00

It's almost unbelievable how much time has passed since last posting. I say 'almost' as in retrospect, looking over all that has happened since surgery, there is no way to deny that those days have definitely been accounted for.

The slingshot effect. Time slows down as each incident occurs at a snails pace. Waiting. Then, that moment of complete pause, those days immediately following breakage when I swear the clock literally stops. Suckage. Then? Holy snap, you're hurtling head over heals through the air with the force of a rocket launcher; arms and legs flailing wildly trying to ensure when you land it's on both feet. Reality.

Honestly, Ifelt like I'd been carrying on living my life in the buildup to Operation Jigsaw. Yes, it was on my mind. A lot. In hindsight I had NO idea how very all consuming it had become. Normal? I think so. It's a BIG deal! As soon as I got the all clear from dear Surgeon at 4 weeks post-op, I was catapulted from that slingshot back into regular life at such a dizzying pace that, don't hate me, It's not often I even think about surgery at all. Someone I haven't seen in ages will ask how I'm feeling and, apologies, I look at them like they have two heads. What are they talking about? Oh. Thaaaaaat. Normal? I think so. I hope so.

Life is good, my friends. It's crazy, unpredictable, ever-evolving and hectic, but good. Because it's NOT governed by apprehension, discomfort, nerves and WAITING. It's past.

I still loathe getting pics taken. I've come to the conclusion it's not my jaw that makes me a dork in photos, I'm just a dork, haha. This was snapped on holiday last week, one of the few, but at least it shows my profile.

Perhaps I'm weird, but I've not had any strange "who am I" feelings when looking in the mirror. Things puffed and receded and though I'm sure I look a bit different (looking at my new passport pic in comparison to the old threw me momentarily) I was just SOOO thrilled to have jaws that fit together I was preoccupied with joy at this new trick. Click clicking my teeth together at every opportunity to show off my mad skillz. How fast this becomes normal, too, and I click less and less. Just every once in a while like remembering an old pleasantry. Ah, remember when?

I just feel like me.

Just an Update (& a lame cartoon...)

2009-06-17T17:31:00.009-05:00

I travelled to the Royal Kingdom paying homage to My Liege yesterday. I'm still grinning! The word 'wonderful' got used a lot. Normally, he'd want to see me again at 6 & 8 weeks post op, but said these visits would be waste of time as I'm already at the 8 week stage now; that my recovery has been WAY beyond average! I told him about the "I 'heart' my Surgeon" t-shirt I'm having printed. Wow, I knew I was feeling really well, but how wonderful to have such encouragement from the One Who Should Know.

I'm allowed to do anything I want, physically, and eat whatever I choose; that my head would inform me of poor decisions quickly enough. COOL!!!! (I've basically been doing this anyways, mind you, with the odd caveat.....) With a grin, he asked when I was resuming orthodontics and getting the Surg hooks off already? Ohhhh he's a funny one. He knew I was just waiting for his omnipotent nod.

So of course I called dear OD the moment I got home and snagged a cancellation appointment for today. NO MORE SURGICAL HOOKS! I've got new active wires and fun non-latex elastic configurations to wear 24-7 for the next four weeks. Bite settling time~ I will wow them with my compliance.

Having my mouth reefed around for and hour was not fun and pulling & snipping the old wires out beyond creepy feeling; putting that much pressure on something that's just been relocated made me feel a bit queasy, actually, but no real pain. I cringed the odd time, but from instinct more than necessity. Everyone was as gentle with me as possible. I think they want t-shirts, too...

It's rather exciting to have that initial orthodontics discomfort again. Progress!

Sentimental Nostalgia: If you've read the early days of this blog you might recall this is the same OD office I went to as a kid. With the exception of a couple new additions, the majority of techs and reception are all the same. It is *SO* cool to walk in there and be swarmed by these ladies who "knew me when" and the encouragement and excitement of this post-op visit was pretty special. Awwwwwww....

The Hungry Frog

2009-06-12T19:28:00.014-05:00

Four weeks and feeling pretty good~ I wouldn't say I'm back to my pre-chop self, but it's such a drastic improvement from a couple weeks prior I'm feeling like a million bucks. Odd annoyances are there; stitches poke & pull, braces are annoying as always, wooden numb teeth, cleaning takes hours, when fatigue hits it hits HARD, etc. For the most part I can distract myself to ignore these inconveniences that could otherwise drive one a bit batty. I figure if this is the worst I have to complain about then life is good :)

The only thing that's REALLY gotten to me is the darned allergy thing, which is not only uncomfortable, but makes me rather nervous given I've developed adult allergies to shellfish & NSAIDS which started with hives and now anaphylaxis. Very unnerving.

Anyhow it looks like the culprit is latex! I'm allowed to have the elastics out during the day now, and when I put them back in at night, within 45 minutes I exploded into a rash of itchies all over again. I've now got non-latex band and things are improving wonderfully. (You can still see the rash remnants on my face, but apparently it can take a up to a couple of weeks for the histamine to clear your system)

It's so freeing to have those bands out during the day! At first I was nervous about it, but opening has improved bigtime (2 fingers, now)without even thinking about it and now I can actually and truly BRUSH MY TEETH!!! ALL of them! I'm still quite attached to the glories of my water pick, but the combination leaves me feeling like my mouth is actually CLEAN with nary a fuzzy spot ANYWHERE by the time I'm done. NICE! *Angels singing* The swelling is still slowly sinking. If you didn't know me you wouldn't be able to tell it's there, but I can still feel it deep midface and have a lovely little double chin of puffy if you catch me at the right angle. It' s coming.

I had a horse, 'Snortin' Nort' growing up and he was a strange creature.
He walked around with his neck stretched out, shaking his head at you and clicking his teeth together, the most eery sound; whether in greeting or warning (or both) I could never quite figure out. He scared me a little.
I think I might understand him a bit better now, as I stretch out my neck to hide the double chin, shake the head to check out new angles, and am constantly clicking my teeth together with the joy of teeth that FIT together! So if you see or hear me coming, don't be frightened! That clickety-clicking teeth gnashing is pure bliss!

I've been practicing sticking my tongue out and am proud to say I can now lick my lips! It is slow, often tedious and cautious lip licking but it can be done! (And as requested, I've got the picture to prove it!) Let's just say : Ice Cream mustache is no longer a given but if my sustenance depended on catching flies I would starve.

Finger Lickin' Good

2009-06-05T19:13:00.004-05:00

Guess what?... It's been three whole weeks since 'Operation Jigsaw'! Snap, that's hard to believe. There are times a single moment seems an eternity, then you blink and *splat* you've been dumped somewhere in the future and are picking yourself off the ground with a head shake, pondering how the heck you got there. Crazyland.

It's evening now, which is why I can give you a big smile which I have to say I'm pretty impressed with for 3 weeks, mobility-wise. This would be impossible in the morning; the swelling paralyzes the right side of my face. I'll add one in tomorrow for giggles.

Ha, I meant to share a question Mom posed to me before going home: She asked if there was anything I really wanted before she left. For whatever reason, when I replied, "Lick my lips!" She was unable/unwilling to see to my plight. Hmph! Guess that wasn't quite what she had in mind... All the kid chauffeuring, meal-cooking, cookie baking (*whimper*), garden-tending, housekeeping, rant-listening was MORE than enough, thanks Mom ;)

~Daily Jaw~

Junk: Being the "Spontaneously Erupting Human Hive" is ticking me off.

Assess: Thank goodness for Benadryl.

Wow: Awesome day hanging out in the sunshine with El (Sis) at the kids' Bball tourney today!

Poser? Poseur?

2009-06-02T16:38:00.002-05:00

Do not for a second think this face is easy, 'cause it takes a LOT of work to look like this, baby:

No pain no gain. It's the weird stitch pulling sensation, both top and bottom; that almost indescribable tingly burn feeling tugging at both nose and chin from the inside-out that gives me the creebles *shudder*.

This pic is actually quite lovely in what it symbolizes (ahhhh, deep moment), which is the slow but steady demise of Stone Face Syndrome. The mobility being displayed has been rewarded with pudding.

The numbness is now limited directly where bone cuts were made. That's kind of creebley too, as before it was just an over-all throbby, tingly, stone numbness. Now, it's quite specific. For example: On the surface my nose feels touch and I can scrunch & wiggle it. But underneath it all, the foundation my nose sits on? Dead. Very strange to describe. Everything else feels like just before the Novocaine wears off at the dentist.

It's bizarre how time of day makes a HUGE difference to what shape my face takes. Morning and evenings seem to be puffier for the obvious lying down+ more swelling blah-blah reasons, and it's still more dramatic on my right, but there's a sweet spot in the afternoon where time stands still, the birds stop singing and things melt away a little bit more. Today I even have a nose/mouth crease back! Wahoo for wrinkles! The nighttime "botox fairy" will be erasing it again shortly till tomorrow afternoon's teaser.

~Daily Jaw~

Junk: Nocturnal muscle spasms (the knife-in-the-ear kind) do not a good sleep make. Spontaneously teary at times.
Assess: Bit by bit, little by little.....
Wow: Starting to feel more human(e)

Humourless

2009-06-01T17:13:00.006-05:00

Okay, so this stage of healing really is harder than waiting for surgery. The first couple of weeks things change rapidly, improvements happen quickly. And now? The big stall where everything D-r-a-g-s on. Note the capital D.

I haven't written as not much really changes; nothing is tickling my funny bone & I hate to disappoint. A whole lot of boredom blah with random moments of cheer. I'm not unhappy, just...blah. My skin is still nasty. Residual swelling makes me look duckish and knowing it's here to stay for a bit is, um, something I have to get used to. I can do quite a bit more but get tired easily, yet sitting around is getting old. I'm antsy to get out and DO something, but part of me wants to hide out a bit longer.

The cold from my kids is great fun: Sneezing is even more fun than coughing. Do you know the PSI of your average sneeze? Through your MOUTH my friends, not your nose. Bite teeth gently to stabilize your jaw and let it out your mouth. Hold paper in front of face and marvel at the spray patterns. Pretty! Sneezy, coughy, stuffy. Blech.

My goal was to not lose any weight, and I'm proud of this accomplishment, but GAINING weight? Yeah, leave it to the over-achiever.

Aimee, I feel your pain. I'm developing allergies. I'm pretty sure the full body rash flares the worst with peanut butter (this and a banana in the chocolate shake SJP recommended is a flavour sensation! MMMmmm~TRY THIS!) but I'm not ruling out the banana and noticed the strawberry shake last night also sent me in search of Benadryl. I don't think the drugged out Benadryl hangover is helping my mindset.

I'm going for a good long walk outside in the morning to clear my head :)

~Daily Jaw~

Junk: Blech, Yuck, Blah
Assess: Time to regroup & refocus
Wow: I need to lighten up!

SA-AADHD

2009-05-26T07:42:00.006-05:00

Otherwise known as Surgically Acquired -Adult Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. I can not stay focused on anything for any period of time. Sitting still is next to impossible without the sparkle and allure of bright shiny objects being dangled in front of my face:

The last couple of days have been SO much better. This is where I get to experience that roller coaster thingy....Weeeeeee! You know, that stage where you're feeling better so you just keep going? I started eating ice cream Saturday night and the world became a happy place again. I finally had a laugh strong enough to rip the last surgical hook from being embedded in my cheek so a joke doesn't hurt anymore. Talking got easier so I yakkety-yakkety-yakkety......."wow, is that a bird over there?! Ooooh pretty flowers? What, who's on the phone? Let's go shopping! Anymore ice cream? Tell me a story! Pardon did you say something? Ooooh lalalalalalala!...... "No wonder my jaw feels tired...

Really, my brain is everywhere. I sit down to write and it's hard to focus. I forget how to spell. Reading more than the instant gravy instructions has been out of the question. And no, I'm not on anything other than the occasional Tylenol.

Yes Steph! I DID get that bandage taken off yesterday and it is a wonderful feeling of freedom indeed! I admit there was a momentary tummy flip when I first stood up though; psychologically like that comfort blanket was being ripped off. Weird. Got over that :) Do you have any idea how much nail polish remover burns on skin that's been stretched and air deprived for 10 days? Ouch! but it got most of the glue off.

My swelling has gone down significantly, but there's still a way's to go~ It's common to be lopsided and it would seem the bulbousness favours my right. My nose is most certainly more turny-uppy but I am not upset about anything in this regard. Um, it's way too early for any of that :) . The swelling WILL eventually all go away, even if it takes months, and things WILL keep settling. Get a load of that skin, though, really. Sheesh, between the steroids during surgery and the stretching and the lounging...It is really ticked off.

Had a great check up with the SawMaster yesterday. I'm a 'Superstar' (his word, not mine) and he seemed quite impressed with how things are healing. And he found NO creamed corn hiding in my incisions whatsoever...... Actually it was amazing in that when I sheepishly mentioned 'eating' such foods all he said was, "I'm Italian, I understand the importance of eating!" SO if I can swallow it, I'm allowed to eat it! I've since had a can of alphagetti, mashed potatoes and gravy, and even more creamed corn, legally. My bite is bang on and have a 'Fred' guiding elastic on either side to support it.

After riding the high for a couple of days, I've kind of settled back down to a more 'normal' place. Kids returned home from the inlaws & My mom came on Sunday to stay for the week so it remains unknown who will be the biggest pain to look after. I hear the big money's on me.....

Anyhow I'm doing okay. Uncomfortable but hardly miserable. Sleep is fairly evasive and I'm tired, but I'm not a complete zombie. I still can't focus well and have a tendency to wander around and want to do more than I ought, but I suppose it's better to have 'duct-tape-you-to-a-chair' threats hurled at you than feel like it did a couple days ago. It's just weird not to be the one 'doing'. Moms are supposed to push past it, aren't they?

Finally, (for now anyways ~you've been warned!), Thank you SO much for all the positive reinforcement, encouragement, prayers etc. I will be replying to comments in the near future. Nearer than you think now that I've been Duct taped to this chair.....

~DAILY JAW~

Junk: Restless, impatient phase commencing

Assess: Impressed I've always remembered the second 's' in assess

Wow: All those other bloggers are right~Mashed Potatoes & Gravy REALLY tastes like REAL food!

But Are Your Lips Blue?

2009-05-23T17:16:00.021-05:00

The last couple days have been the hardest by far, and likewise the hardest to describe. My brain has been on overdrive playing the flip-sided devil's advocate against itself. How I FEEL; hitting the wall, rock-bottom, discouraged, downhearted, on the skids, sucking the hind tit (thanks for that one, Dad!).... versus the things that I KNOW; "This is normal, hang in there, it'll get better, one day at a time"... and it's all true, both sides, simultaneously.

Perhaps it's a combination of anaesthetic leaving, body reeling, not sleeping, full swelling, experience coughing, dry heaving, sick of sitting, fear of suffocating, gag-on souping-ing.... *breath*... but I'm only guessing. Hubby made a call to the surgeon one evening at the height of my 'discomfort' and guess what his only concern was? "But are her lips blue?" As in, as long as I'm not literally suffocating, suck it up princess and just keep breathing. You volunteered for this, remember? (hard to see in pic but I'm wearing my "frankie goes to Hollywood" t-shirt, haha!) Relax.

(* This pic is from Friday morning and was chosen for T-shirt message irony, to highlight that lips and disgustipating bandage are still at large, blind you with the shiny-glossy skin, & if you look close I've actually got yellow bruising on my neck.*)

I believe it was Thursday evening after my "everything is dandy" post that Karma kicked my big-fat mouth and the throat tickling began. That niggling that builds at times when you know you're supposed to be silent. Your eye's are watering like crazy as you try to bite it back but you know it's futile and the cough eventually comes crashing out. But because you've made 'it' wait, 'it's' going to make you reel over and over again till that tickle is satisfied. Painful enough experiencing this during Church congregational prayer, (I missed the whole first half of my Sister's wedding address to this evil), but knowing it IS going to happen and your heads been recently rearranged and I thought I'd go mental in anticipation.

I should say "It's not as bad you you think" (read: my head did not literally implode ) but it sure made me aware of lots of little things. Like:

Wow, I'd forgotten about surgical hooks embedded in swollen flesh in there- Sudden sharp movements that rip them out of hiding feels awesome! Or

Cool, That's what a rubber band snapping in your mouth feels like! And

Who-da-thunk-it, but you can actually dry heave and cough at the same time and resemble a One-Man-Band guy who plays accordion and harmonica, bending over to thump and whack on a variety of drums while reaching up to give the monkey-on-shoulder a pat...probably sound the same too.

Ah Yes, I'd promised to show the iv debacle, the truth of which I'm sure I'll never know. Picture on the left is where I watched them insert and felt them run meds into me. It is from this same sight that I was still receiving everything post op as well. The mystery? Picture on the right is the flip side of the same hand, obviously beaten up nicely and the pain of a recovery nurse holding pressure on this sight is my first and overwhelming memory of 'Coming To'. I have no idea why.

~Daily JAW~

Junk: This really can be a crappy place to be

Assess: It really will get better

Wow: Kawartha Dairy Ice Cream

And My Lips Aren't Blue!

Who Wantsh a Kish?

2009-05-21T08:00:00.003-05:00

I .HATE. pressure. bandage. It is itchy, smelly, sticky, and harbouring Swine flu,... maybe.....well...chocolate pudding for sure which also makes it slightly hauteur couture, no?

Bottom Feeder (with pu bah rights) insists it remains on until Monday the 25th, on which date I can assure you it will have already moved on to greener pastures and taken half of my face with it. What has GOT to be growing under there? *shudder!*
How many of you guys suffered this nuisance? I wanted to compare the puffage from all angles, OoH is that a bruise there? And All I GET Is The 'Yo Mumma!' Face, the one that inspires that joke about the kid on the back of his dad's motorbike....Slow down daddy....

I've been having a time getting blogger the work and post the last couple of days, and that frustration in combination with drugs = not much posting. I'm done the narcotics and am just crushing up Tylenol. Honestly, I'm not noticing a lot of difference in the pain front. I have had very little acute pain. It really is the constant 'Discomfort' that begs distraction. I've had a couple teary moment where those jaws are just aching, like a targeted ear ache, but combined with Strep throat swallowing issues, cold/flue stuffy/aches, tired. It's at these times I remind myself:

This could hurt SO much more, enjoy the mediocrity
I can "drink'" from a cup and felt my lips from the get-go: COOL!
Nose stopped dripping by day 3-4. Sounds gross, but melting my way through the clot (with peroxide, without dis logging it) so I could always breath if I'd just freak less and sit still. The nurse who showed me this deserves pudding
I have This Man to make me fresh soup! And Chocolate Pudding (a day before technically"allowed") That's the only time I've used the zip n'Squeeze and did it pack away a family pudding like no tomorrow~ YUM !

So, I'm doing dandy! I'm SOBER :) Wait a minute, If I'm off the drugs now......

Just joking. I'm trying to smile at you in the pics, but the lip are in danger of popping. Seriously, I miss being able to talk much. Jonathan can understand me and I can make myself heard but this takes LOTS of works and ends up with achy jaw. Playing around with ice and heat now, not for any advantage over comfort and just praying for my throat to go back to normal.

Tomorrow, I'll show you the IV bruises from where no IV "technically"' existed. Always fun

Love you Guys :)

Junk: Still whining the throat
Assess: So Much more worth giving thanks for
Wow: Off to marvel more flowers :)

Day 2=Dumb face

2009-05-17T14:22:00.004-05:00

It doesn't seem to matter what 'Face' I try to make, they all come out looking much the same way: Like that kid in grade school that always had a half sneer/you can't tell me what to do face that you could barely restrain yourself from smacking? Please don't smack me! Even though I have the dumb face, that is my look for today. I try smiling, it looks dumb, I try an eye wiggle, out come the dumb face. We could do this like Dr. Suess; One face two face here comes dumb face....

Went for a walk about outside to peak around the gardens. I love this time of year for this very reason. Every day there's something new poking up.

Dear hubby says I have 3 more hours to percocet time, but I think he's confused, haha.I know I owe you details, and they're coming, but the concentration has to hold a bit longer than,"Try to smile, haha I look like Gomer Pile, hahah..." Maybe tomorrow.

I CAN tell you I hated the hospital and they're hooligans. To me, hospital felt rough, assembly line, listen to the nurses bitch how tired THEY are. I had a very VERY smelly roommate who apparently needed12 people visiting at a time. It's normal if they want to peak at me on the way by, but they would stop and STARE!!Back up and STARE some more! I suggested they take a picture but it probably came out ,"Sutupas, Stupidss.Ya wonno picshure? Piissh offff!" The nurse heard me and kicked them out and gave them a piece of her mind. 'bout time. Hated hospital. Hospital made me cry from being mad, not sad.

~Daily JAW~

Junk :Still feel like choking with the throat nonsense. Keep reminding myself to 'chill' and just breathe.

Assess: You should see the OTHER guy!

Wow: Hubby picked lilacs~ beautiful! And I can smell them ...I think :)

Howdy We're Home

2009-05-16T15:14:00.003-05:00

We're back home now! Time goes WAYYYYY to slowly in hospital, so I proved I could drink, pee and all the other pre-requisites and was given the boot. Things went relatively smoothly and I'll try to bring you up to speed in the near future.

For now, Crazy throat from the breathing and stomach sucking implements is the biggest discomfort right now. As long as you remember to relax it's all good. NOT a fan of the pressure bandage~ ITCHY! and does some weird shoving and lump and bump making.

This is about 6 hours post-op. Made Jonathan stumble around behind me on one of many short jaunts. Looking fruity but up and at em pretty good.
Trust me, I felt swollen here, but now I can reassure you it hadn't yet begun!
I'm crazy looped on morphine and percocet right now, but wanted to reassure all went well and made it home okay. Will catch up soon :)

~Daily JAW~

Junk: Throat feels tight, hard to breathe, swallowing the "lump"

Assess: It's Early, but feeling way better than I'd of thought

Wow: So good to be home!

Potty Mouth

2009-05-14T17:06:00.005-05:00

In the interest of full disclosure in this endeavour, I won't lie to you. I'm pooping my pants a little. It's contained though, harhar! I wanted to do a big "last hurrah" but am having difficulty forming coherent sentences. And the battery in my camera died. Should have checked that before I bothered brushing my teeth....

Anyhow, the kids are dropped off at their grandparents' which led to a few tears (mine~ alone in my car), my house looks like a bomb hit and I'm taking off for an evening of distraction: a school membership meeting, a Big Mac meal, Hubby's ball hockey game, and then if the clock allows and I've not turned back into a pumpkin, perhaps another Big Mac meal. Each of these equally important events will be accompanied by a fresh Tim's coffee~ double, double. I'm not sleeping anyways so we'll go for a grease/caffeine-induced coma. WEEEeeeeee!

Thank you so much for the encouragement, thoughts, prayers and Boo-ya's. I'm not WiFi compatible so Dark Side posts won't be forth-coming 'till I'm back home Sunday. I love you guys :)

Good Luck to Stephanie on your Surgery Monday!

~ Daily J.A.W. ~

Junk: Feel like a space cadet

Assessment: This will soon be enhanced by Percocet & Ativan

Wow: Last night with an underbite!

Haiku

2009-05-13T06:38:00.005-05:00

Just Jaw-filled Jumble
Sleeping Seldom Satisfied
Jittery, Jumpy.

Prescriptions Picked up
Percocet Preparedness
Pink Penicillin.

Back for Braces Fix
Ortho Observes Orally
Surgical Spikes Skewed.

Hair Highlighted, Hot
Pre-game Show is Commencing
Last Thoughts Coming Soon.

It's ME

2009-05-08T07:39:00.006-05:00

This time next week, the iv will have been inserted, I'll be wearing hospital garb and singing "Take Me Out To The Balllllllllgame..." ~off key, of course~ while waiting to be wheeled into the cold sterile environment of an Operating Theatre. It feels surreal at this moment. I won't say I don't feel nervous 'cause I'm pretty sure what I'm feeling is nerves, but it's not overwhelming. More a case of the jitters where I just can't stay still or focus on anything for very long. Jumpy. Waiting for the crack of the starter's pistol.

Surgical hooks are placed between each tooth and with the exception of storing snacks for a rainy day, I have yet to reach for the case of wax scoffed from the Ortho's in anticipation of what could be. *shrug* No biggie.

Yesterday was the day of hurry up and wait: pre-op clinics at the hospital and surgeon's. A whole lot of nod and smile as you get re-told everything you've already gone over. Do they think you're going to change your mind, jump up screaming "WHAT? You're gonna do WHAT?!" It was nice that Jonathan came for these visits, though. It let him hear everything first hand from the powers that be, instead of listening to me go on about it.

I scored these from the surgeon:

Always fun seeing your innards and the kids love how the hooks show so well in the Pan x ray.

I'm not putting up the projected 'dolphin' morph pictures The Man presented me. They are horrid. And wonderful. Confused?

First the horrid. They are confirmation of why I hate pictures taken. Holy snap they were that bad. It was a National Enquirer version of some Celeb being caught without makeup and being outed as a trans-gendered druggie giving birth to alien babies. The first thing Jonathan said when we got back in the car was "Dude. You do NOT look like that. Trust me. Those sucked." I hadn't said anything but he knew where my brain was. How can you like the projection when based on horror?

The wonderful. There was so little difference between the before and after. So subtle that if you blink twice you might have imagined anything varied at all. Still confused? If you haven't been following my narcissistic self-centred tale or woe from the beginning, you might have missed that with the exception of a potentially more-balanced profile as bonus, I'm doing this because of long standing jaw pain.

Yes, I have an underbite from the upper not growing enough but it is not an in-your-face underbite. My upper jaw is skewed to my right giving a crossbite, but it's not horrendous. It's just enough that Orthodontics alone can't straighten it. Enough that my teeth won't line up and let me chew properly. Enough that my joints get strained with every bite. And the best? Enough that I will recognize myself when this is all over!

A Slight-Of-Hand

2009-04-23T10:45:00.004-05:00

So far this week I've had my family physician pow-wow, been officially stamped as wonderfully healthy by both doctor & dentist, had enough blood drawn to fill a moat (and didn't pass out! which is pretty new for me, a chronic blood-related fainter), EKG stickers applied and ripped off like bandaids, peed in various receptacles, had teeth scraped, scaled and baking soda blasted...

Coversation as heard in my house this morning:

"Ow, ow, ow!"

"Are you stretching down there?"

"Feel the BURN!"

"No really, are you okay?"

"I'm trying to get up! Help!"

.....and signed up for a Body Bootcamp. I'm a fairly active person who suffers from lack of self-motivation by times, so I thought I'd give this new class a go. Oh MY! You know when you do something a little different and talk about finding new muscles you didn't know existed? How this is normally restricted to a specific body area depending on that activity?

I posses a whole second body, living within the known one like a parasite. That new-found one hurts. Everywhere. ALOT. But what a hoot~ I can't wait for next week. I can't move but inside I'm all pumped and raring to go!

How is this jaw related? I guess it's not directly associated, except that the nerves are creeping in on occasion and I wanted to channel that adrenaline into a tangible, completely separate outlet. I suppose housework or never-ending laundry would have sufficed, but I have to do that anyways and it just feels like more jaw-surgery prep. I'm doing hot yoga on Saturday, so I can add sweaty pain to the list :)

This week's been busy on the Doctor front though surgery still feels a long way off. The one coming up is fairly quiet~ a calm before the storm. Time to catch my breath before the whirlwind picks up and I'm dumped unceremoniously on "the other side" without warning.

Breathe.

BRING IT!

The Quartermaster

2009-04-07T12:25:00.015-05:00

At this stage of the game there's not a whole lot of juiciness to pass on, just counting "bullets & beans". A few of my dates got changed, but nothing that affects THE date. Ortho was going to do hooks on the 13th (bless them) but Grand Pu bah wants them on for our May 7th pow-wow ~ so hooks on the 6th it is. I'm to the point this doesn't bother me, though the tale might digress somewhat if I'm consuming my body weight in wax following installation. Yum.

I have to wait for the goodies in Head Honcho's 'mystery-bag-of-delight', but allow me to share a smattering of my nesting compulsions thus far.

I've decided not to go the zip-n-squeeze route. Perhaps there will be cursing later, but I've practiced with my baster, improvised baby bottles, flexible paper cups and squeeze bottles and think there's enough option & variety to suffice. I've stocked up on all things liquid; from sweet to bland to savoury, thin to thick consistency, to make sure there's no excuse against getting those calories in.

My ipod is full of playlists for evey mood, as is the variety of movies & books at hand. The humidifier is at the ready and juicer well-broken in.

My most substantial purchase? That Lazyboy recliner (OH! so comfy like a hug!) I tried out all kinds of chairs offered as loaners from family and felt like Goldilocks. Couldn't imagine sleeping in them for a night let alone weeks. This one is Juuuuuust right!

My favourite purchase? That ladybug neck pillow, how cute and cheery is that?!

I know all too well from the openness of our fellow bloggers just how unprepared I'll feel with the emotional roller coaster that is jaw surgery. I'm just trying to keep an open mind that it WILL be a roller coaster and will cross those bridges and hurdles as they come. Physical preparedness is not something I want to worry about on top of it all.

I've been studying the supplement options for a while now and was quite impressed by the Vita Medica product that Rita mentioned her surgeon giving her as it has everything I want in one handy program. Figures I can't get it in Canada. So I made note of the dosage recommendations and individually got:

Bromelain and Quercetin (for the swelling- I'm allergic to advil and anti-inflammatory meds), homeopathic Calcium/minerals (for bone support and a form that doesn't build up in your body), Arnica (both topical and internal for bruising) and a liquid multi-vitamin for over all health. In the meantime I'll be switching my regular B complex super vitamin to one that doesn't have vitamin E and will stop juicing ginger root and garlic a couple of weeks prior to surgery due to their blood thinning properties.

Phew! Wasn't that exciting? Hope nobody passed out in a puddle of drool. This is where I'm at for today :)

Now Accepting Applications~

2009-03-13T09:51:00.003-05:00

~For a full-time Administrative Assistant. Applicants must have exemplary phone and scheduling skills, be well versed in the art of bribery and display strong motivational fortitude. Ability to talk someone down off a ledge a must. Serious inquiries only. Broad knowledge of show tunes an asset though not mandatory.

Okay, I have officially completed nailing down and booking all those crazy appointments that have to happen before one sets foot in the OR and my overwhelming observation is, IF it weren't so darn exciting it might seem a tad bit daunting. Heavy emphasis on the 'IF'. Drum roll please:

April 2: Complete Physical
April 20: Dental Cleaning
April 21: Pre-op with Family Doctor
May 7: Hospital Pre-Op & Admissions
May 7: Surgeon's Clinic and Workup
May 13: Surgical Hooks
May 15: Um.... I KNOW there's something...

A bit belated perhaps, but the re-consult at the Great One's office was a raging success. We laughed, danced, high-fived,broke into song. Who am I kidding: I marched in, grabbed him by the scruff of his well-pressed shirt, shook him 3 times and a date popped out. Mission accomplished.

The game plan is still a Lefort 1 + Genioplasty, though it's looking like a segmented Lefort is back off the table. Sweet. He'll present the full details and show me projected pictures at the May 7 appointment and I get a knapsack of goodies at that time too, just like Christmas! He's keeping me two nights in the hospital because I'm an out-of-towner. May long weekend in a ward room. The only part I'm not too keen on.

For the first week home my kids will be at my in-laws. Close enough if I want a visit and school can proceed as normal, far enough that their mother's face not inspire nightmares. Hubby is taking the week off to play nurse as he looks darn cute in the outfit and is a sucker for punishment.

The 2nd week, My mom is coming to beg the husband not to leave me, ferry kids to school, be a general wonder woman, and put up with me. It's in the mom job description.

I've had my supply kit assembled for months now, compiled a list of soups to have frozen and at the ready, my overnight bag packed and sitting by the front door. The 'easy' stuff is done and accounted for.

Now for the hard part. I've been using the "I need my date" excuse as a security blanket, shielding me from the biggest goal I want to accomplish before getting hacked in twain. Quit Smoking. Period. Welcome to the first day of a new adventure~ Wish me luck.

MAY 15!

2009-03-12T19:36:00.002-05:00

Well snap, would you look at that?

Right purty don't cha think?

Details to follow. Tonight I'm just absorbing~ a sponge *shprulp!*

Head's UP

2009-03-12T05:48:00.003-05:00

I made my weekly call to 'Those Who Run Interference' yesterday, all Sweet & Light as per norm. Did they have a cancellation?

I have an appointment this afternoon at 1:00!

Guess how much sleeping took place last night?

That magic date? I'll know this afternoon...

Of COURSE you'll be the first to know!

Anticip-p-p-p-PAtion!

2009-02-07T09:23:00.005-06:00

As a rule, I am not one of those people who likes surprises. To clarify, I am not one of those people who likes surprises when I know somethings coming. If it happens out of the blue, there is no awareness that anythings up? That's fine and dandy and I will be full of glee (or weep & wail and get over it) accordingly. But tell me to "wait for it!" and watch me unravel: Accelerated heartbeat? Check. Rapid breathing? Check. Say 'hi' and watch me jump 10 feet in the air? Check. I. Like. Game plans. Even if the plan is to be spontaneous: totally kosher, as long as we're clear that we're being spontaneous.

Why am I rambling about surprises anyways? Well, I'm such a patient soul (harHar!). Ever since those molds were taken I've been doing the whole, "Does the surgeon call me to come in? Does he call the Ortho who calls me to call the surgeon? Do I call the surgeon?" Worst fear was waiting for a phone to ring that was NEVER going to ring. So of course I did the calling. First to the Ortho to make sure molds had been sent. She assured me she had personally couriered them & they should arrive at destination chop-shop by Friday. That it was totally acceptable to call and set something up if I hadn't heard anything by the middle of next week.

Of course, my brain interpreted this as "D'uh! If he'll have them Friday, I'm calling Friday!"

I did. And lovely Tanya was amazingly patient with me. Those models had just marched in the door. Know when the next date is for a re-consult? April 6th! Know what the best thing is since sliced bread? A cancellation list! Guess what sweetness and all thing light gets you? A spot at the top of it! What will be the death of me in the meantime? Waiting for that phone to ring.

The moral of this circular tale: Always be nice with the one controlling the appointment books. When my phone rings, Tanya's totally getting cookies.

I Take it Back.

2009-01-29T17:19:00.006-06:00

Not laying off the caffeine anytime soon, 'cause guess what happens when you're wired on the good stuff?? You get the whole "Chop chop!" thing from my previous post. Uh huh, yep, you bet'cha, yes sir, oh yeah, wouldn't lie to ya. AND I brushed my teeth first.

The GAP; it no longer holds power, not even in it's name because the GAP no longer exists. I'd show you but some moron (namely me) has to charge up the camera. I know. You're disappointed. Hence poor-substitute Clip Art.

I got those molds taken, surgery wires in and was admonished not to hurt anyone with my enthusiasm (Okay, that last part is fabrication of sorts~ he told me not to get too excited yet...spoil sport). I'm allowed to injure innocent bystanders when I get the call from 'His Eminence' confirming our notion that all systems are go.

Given the rapid pace of the GAP's sudden closure, dear Ortho wants everything held stable for 8 weeks irregardless, so it's not like Operation Jigsaw is tomorrow. It DOES mean there's a good chance it'll be this Spring. Lalalalalala~ Doing the (minor victory) happy dance.

The Suspense is KILLING Me!

2009-01-25T09:38:00.010-06:00

Ever since I stopped calling it for what it is, 'IT' started to close so as IF I'm going to switch things up now. N'uh-uh, Niet, Nada, Nien, No way Jose! Yardstick is Floss!!! Do you here me? FLOSS!!!!

Argh! I'm totally jinxing things by giving way to youthful exuberance when home free has not yet been tagged, but after stalling out for SO long I cannot contain my pleasure. You keep getting gorey close-ups as things look smaller from far away - that perspective thing- and I refuse to cheat in this regard. Lets just say that from regular viewing distance, If I've not blown the spit bubbles out of the way you can't even see a ga~ OOps! that was close~ um, lacuna* exists at all.

SO. The question I need help with is this: Do I NOT brush my teeth for Thursday's Ortho appointment? Leave the gunk for a visual mirage in hopes that he thinks all is done, jumps up clapping "Chopchop! Minions, we must immediately do new records & overnight Fed-Ex to the Great One!! He must be appeased with new bones to render in twain!" ?

Yes, I've GOT to lay off the caffeine.

* For definition see 'Shakespeare and Teeth' entry*

ARCHWIRED Up & Running Again :) !

2009-01-21T06:34:00.001-06:00

YAY!
http://www.archwired.com/phpbb2/viewforum.php?f=15

Game Time: If I Were....I'd Be...

2009-01-19T11:06:00.007-06:00

A Plane

... stuck in a holding pattern

A Pond

... stagnant

A Bird

... who cares, but it's wings are clipped

A Truck

... spinning my wheels

An Animal

...definitely a Sloth! Just hanging around, not going anywhere fast. Ha ha, that's a mental picture for you!

Actually, perhaps I should take a cue from Mr Sloth. He doesn't seem too upset to just let it be. Touche!

I THINK I can, I THINK I can...

2009-01-04T11:24:00.007-06:00

SOOOO close...and yet sooooo far. I have a bit of difficulty getting the little proxy brush in there now, which seems to be the measure of progress. I'll be excited when that yardstick is floss =)

Don't think I shared the new molds-to-surgeon goal of late March? That's in large part due to not wanting to get my hopes up & holding one's breath for that long is hazardous to the health. I've heard this before. Ortho visit is the end of January and molds are to be taken at the following visit and sent off the the Great One, whose very existence I'm starting to wonder if I dreamt up long, long ago; some random night on a Percocet high.

Merry Christmas To You All!

2008-12-24T17:49:00.002-06:00

Head & Shoulders, Knees & Toes...

2008-12-14T08:48:00.001-06:00

I got to play this popular children's game at my Ortho Appointment on Tuesday! ~*claps enthusiastically, jumping up and down*~. How often do YOU get excited enough to break into song while sitting in that chair with someone elbow deep in the bowels of your mouth?

Ah blast~ I'm yanking your chain. The game WAS played.... albeit in reverse fashion... but was neither fun nor exciting. In fact, more than bringing back delightful childhood memories it more closely resembled doing a reverse crunch: Knees pulled up tight to my chin, rocking back on my shoulders till all that was in contact with the chair is my head, trying with all my might to accomplish 3 things:

keep head immobile
ensure plumber butt has not become a wind sock
keep knees out of poor technician's face.

They love me. All she was doing was trying to close my bracket doors. Freakin' Frick that hurt!

For whatever unknown reason it was decided to put the powerchain under the wire which made for a tighter fit to get the brackets closed. Couple this with teeth in active movement (particularly around the "thing" we're trying to close up) equals: For cryin' out loud, lend a lady some support behind the teeth you're pushin' on! I want the recently-debraced-tech next time. She KNOWS!

Children in the chairs to my left & right leapt up (remembering some essay they forgot to complete the night before? a spelling bee they just couldn't bear to miss? A reenactment of the latest Bratz episode at recess?), ran out the door in search of these educational pursuits, yelling "Mom! We're outta here!"over their shoulders, mumbling about rescheduling as soon as they could fit it in.... pansies!

I might play again next time, just for fun!

On This Day...

2008-12-07T09:01:00.000-06:00

1732 - The original Covent Garden Theatre Royal (now the Royal Opera House) was opened.

1431 - In Paris, Henry VI of England was crowned King of France.

1796 - John Adams was elected to be the second president of the United States.

1836 - Martin Van Buren was elected the eighth president of the United States.

1842 - The New York Philharmonic gave its first concert.

1926 - The gas operated refrigerator was patented by The Electrolux Servel Corporation.

1941 - Pearl Harbor, located on the Hawaiian island of Oahu was attacked by nearly 200 Japanese warplanes. The attack resulted in the U.S. entering into World War II.

1972 - Apollo 17 was launched at Cape Canaveral.

1987 - Soviet leader Mikhail S. Gorbachev set foot on American soil for the first time. He had come to the U.S. for a Washington summit with U.S. President Reagan.

2008- Kate remembers that she neglected to celebrate or otherwise mark her 1 year brace-aversary....

Yep, one more footnote lost in the annals of history.

I'm still not naming 'it' (no power, no power, no power) but 'it' is still there, still ticking me off and still closing ever so s-l-o-w-l-y.

What else have I learned lately?

Procrastination is BAD and ultimately ends up being much more time consuming than the original chore would otherwise entail.
Our farm aced the full 'On Farm Food Safety Assurance Program' audit (Wahoo! for us)
Carbon Monoxide poisoning kicks your hooey, is helped wonders by pure oxygen, but still leaves you feeling like a space cadet for a time.
Taking 3 kids to the dentist simultaneously means signing over the last piece of your soul that the ortho's haven't already claimed
My next date with the primary 'soul-holder' is on Tuesday.
It's cold, snowy, blowy and alot like winter out there.. I've got a good book and Bubblebath calling my name....

Survival Skills 101

2008-11-11T11:55:00.006-06:00

Everyone has their own little bag of tricks for getting by and that bag ,whether simple or of seismic proportions is pretty important to how you present yourself. It can include things, actions, attitudes: A go-to outfit for an important meeting complete with that underwear which refuses to budge. An album or playlist that is sure to inspire whatever mood the occasion calls for. The friend whose number is on speed dial that you know will say just the right thing. A Tide-to-Go stick stashed in the bottom of every purse ...

Near the top of my list is the 'head-tilt'. (The top spot being reserved for my favourite personal mantra ~"shut up, shut up, shut up..." yes, I talk to much and am trying to recite this internally BEFORE I actually say something ~ still working on it).

Allow me to demonstrate:

The grin stays the same, yet by merely changing the angle of my head I go from looking like I have an underbite (though portraying a strong, confident exterior ) to being able to mask it quite well (this gets you called 'cute' once in a blue moon, which is the risk one takes...)

I've noticed some references to how people are perceived on first meeting based purely on initial response. It's been found that irregardless of actual personality or other characteristics, those with underbites are frequently viewed as strong, stubborn, confident, even grouchy. I plead the 5th on all above.

Obviously this is not an exact science, and varies a bit between the sexes. (severity of the bite has to play in as well). I find interesting that chin implants are a frequent request of men visiting their plastic surgeons ~ it's felt they look weak and overlooked, and want a stronger look assuming it will serve them well with the ladies & in the workplace.

I'm not going to draw many conclusions on this and would have to think if you spend much time with a person the truth will out. However, on aesthetics I wouldn't mind a happy medium. Less bull dog, no pushover, just, just..... hmmm.

Sharing time, folks. What's in your bag?

Blowing Bubbles

2008-10-28T17:36:00.000-05:00

In case you were wondering, my skin is still plagued with the curse of delayed adolesence. (That or poor lifestyle habits.... but that's neither here nor there.)

Today was another mundane Ortho adjustment that, shock-of-shocks, was yet more snappity-snap! elastic wrangling to continue addressing that which I prefer remain nameless for this post. ( i'm going the reverse psychology route. Perhaps denying it a name will rob it of power?) Replaced the powerchain configuration & added a new band back to the next molar back to try and keep thing moving.

What's interesting is how my bite has changed in the >10 hours since the appointment. The visible underbite discrepancy is much smaller all of a sudden; hardly any space between the top & bottom teeth. Mind you I can't bite all the way down now, either so it's hard to be very accurate.

My guess: lower arch was expanded as all were ordered to "pull your shoulders back and stand up straight!" (don't forget the nameless thing) and the doubling up of bands is now yanking everything back in tight.

What I know: holy twinkies, batman, I'm feeling this one.

And I neglected to suck spit bubbles off my teeth before taking this close-up.

Confirmation: Head Not On Straight.

2008-10-23T20:47:00.001-05:00

I don't believe I mentioned previous assumptions about a 2 piece Lefort I were bang on?

If you hadn't noticed in the paint-shopped midline pic, I've added this one to further illustrate how my upper jaw isn't an even horizontal plane but on an upward cant to my left (right in picture). This means the upper palate gets 'sawn in twain' as well as the whole thing being removed from my supporting skull. In this way Dr. Sawmaster can lower and rotate each section independent of the other to level this out.

Noooooo, not exactly a$$-backwards..... but proof enough should I ever need an alibi for unclear thought process......

*Sighhhhhh* The latest gap picture. I shouldn't complain actually; it is surely and slowly closing. I'm still mildly annoyed that in spite of the power chain, this space is closing at the peril of new ones opening up on the opposite side. My only comfort is new little spaces should close up faster, Oui?

Grrrr...

2008-10-15T09:09:00.000-05:00

I'm throwing my camera across the room and stomping on it as soon as it lands. You'd think, given the high-tech world in which we live, they could produce a camera with a little longevity. But with all the constant additions and upgrades available, I'm assuming these things are programmed to require replacement every other year.

Lack of photo documentation aside, there's not really a whole lot of difference to highlight anyways. The gap is still a gap & still sporting an elastic to span that space. The only addition being that it's attached to a power chain to keep everything else together. (As I pointed out in the previous midline pic, any lessening of said Gap is largely due to spaces opening up elsewhere.)

Yes I'm tardy, tardy, tardy in the updates. I'm trying hard to just ignore the fact that I even have braces and carry on, carrying on in attempt to make time go just a wee bit faster. Picture me running in circles with fingers in my ears singing ~lalalalalalalalala!~ in a complete state of blissful ignorance.

*Sigh* Not working.

Ants In My Pants

2008-09-15T14:02:00.001-05:00

'Cause all I really want to do is tell you the smashing progress to report from my latest Ortho appointment... But I can't do that as the (I'm thinking positive thoughts) impressive appointment in question isn't until tomorrow. Hmmmph!

I do know time is moving along WAY to fast, irregardless of how it comes across on a day-to-day basis. I look at my chillun's latest 'back-to-school' snap and I want to scream "STOP!!!!!"

Stay tuned.... we now return to your regularly scheduled programming.

Relevance of Shakespeare & Teeth

2008-09-11T20:26:00.000-05:00

"'Tis but thy name that is my enemy; Thou art thyself, though not a Montague. What's Montague? it is nor hand, nor foot, Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part Belonging to a man. O, be some other name! What's in a name? that which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet;" (excerpt from Romeo & Juliet)

According to my Oxford Thesaurus:

Gap n. 1. opening, space, aperture, distance, hole, void, crack, split, division, cleft, rift, rip, tear, rent, interruption, interval, lacuna (this is my new word for the day!), hiatus, discontinuity, disruption, lull, pause, rest, recess, halt, stop, suspension, delay, wait, intermission, respite. 2. difference, divergence, disparity, disagreement, inconsistency, discrepancy, division, distinction.

If the text included visualization for clarity, this might be a suggested example. I do find it interesting that the entry following 'gap' is 'gape' ~as this seems to be the natural progression incurred from the former. To completely go off on a tangent, the next words in sequence are garble, garish, garland....otherwise known as talks funny, looks funny, slap some braces on 'em...

My humble conclusion; it doesn't matter WHAT I call my gap, it still is one. *Sigh* I'd like to call it 'HISTORY'!

Diagnostic Relevence Aside...

2008-09-08T09:35:00.000-05:00

Given that "Open up and say 'Ahhh' " trumps "Bend over and cough" on any given day, I can at least share with you the outcome of 'ahhh'.

Lower: Before & at 9 Months

Upper: Before & at 9 Months

Midline situation: OOOOO.... ahhhhhh... (click to enlarge if reading is difficult...first endeavour with 'Paint'....I'll learn! Also please keep in mind this pic doesn't have my mouth in 'square' , to which my carpenter husband gasps in horror..)

I'm operating under a lot of assumptions right now. (And if it weren't for my car ~figuratively speaking~ blowing up the day before my last scheduled appointment -which I therefore missed; facilitating the need to reschedule said appointment to a later date -which is coming up on the 16th *takes a breath*) I will hopefully have a few of these assumptions clarified or mooted when I next see Dr. K. I'll give you an example:

As of my June appointment, I was told molds were to be taken late July and sent to OS for progress report. This didn't happen which was a bit of a let down. Instead all energies have been focused on closing that dreaded gap 'downstairs' with the comment that when this was closed, THEN we'd do molds for OS. My question: What changed? Was original plan to carryout Operation Jigsaw first, then close spaces? (Irregardless of answer, it is obvious that plan now is to close all gaps before OJ)

It doesn't really matter in the end except that I like knowing - I'm part of this team, right? I think I'll (politely) request more information, and reassure that there's nothing they can say to creep me out or scare me sleepless. Got that out of the system checking out some of the scary links (do not underestimate the power of images!!!!). It bothers me much more not to know. At least give me something to be looking for as accomplishment, no matter how small or seemingly irrelevant, to cheer along the way.

That and I REALLY want to see my OS again; our little 'love triangle' is much cozier when the other two aren't doing all the yacking behind my back~ Share the love! I felt prepared when I met him the first time, but now I have better, more numerous and much more specific questions to ask.

Guess we'll find out on Monday!

One Love!

2008-07-27T09:02:00.000-05:00

If I was any good with Paint (or such related programs) I'd have put braces on Mr. Marley. As such, I have offered to be the brace-faced rep to Jamaica in his stead. 2 weeks till take off!!

I previously shared the joy being the only metallic person in the Bahamas, but will be at a more family-friendly resort this time *read : should not be soooo alooooone -Bring it, kiddies! *

What to pack. Hmmm. I'm evolving into a minimalist packer and have the clothing/toiletries down to a science ~ then we come to mouth stuff. Is it wrong that the various accessories, scrubbers, pickers, flossers, take up half my suitcase? That I'll take an electrical currency converter to ensure the use of my water pic?

My Nemesis

2008-07-17T09:23:00.000-05:00

See this baby? This yawning hole is ALL that's standing between the author and her surgery. Humph! Upper is good to go; no new wire or tweaking at all to be done. BORING. Unfortunately, closing this hole is going to take some time. At the June appointment, we introduced a section of power chain tugging the premolar towards the hook on my wire.

Yesterday Dr. Kaller changed the elastic...but that's it. The SUPER bummer of the situation is that once that premolar is moving, we still have to get the molars behind to also move forward into place........*sigh*.

(In other news: My ring is back, fixed, real and looks brand new............YAY!!!!!!)

Random Smatterings

2008-06-21T08:26:00.000-05:00

Where does the time go to so very quickly? It's been a MONTH since last posting?? Sheesh! What has happened in the last month....hmmmm.

Well for one, I turned the (like-it-really-means-anything) big 3-0. I spent my whole day shovelling poo out of my barn (congratulations to ME!). Adding insult to injury, while cleaning said barn the diamond from my engagement ring fell out and is lost forever to the poo. Won't lie to you. I cried. ALOT. I know it's just a 'thing', nobody died, yadda yadda. It's knowing the amount of thought that went into the ring; the sentiment and symbolism of the promise held within it. It's not like it was a mammoth rock or anything..but it was MINE! Grrr. Will have to put Cubic Zircona in it for the time being, (shhh don't tell!) but at least it will be wearable till in can be replaced with the real deal.

I continue to be bored with my mouth. The latest adjustment brought surgical wires and a heavy duty elastic spanning the gap where that lower 4th was removed, and a quip that as soon as that gap is closed I'll be ready for the big day. That sounds promising except that it involves moving everything from the back forward on that side, and we all know how quickly (NOT!) molars like to shuffle along. I actually felt the adjustment, (my teeth hurt and everything!), for a full two days ( which is a first), so I was jumping up and down all "they hurt, they hurt! Yay! They're moving!" and then.........nothing. This is one of those patience things we keep hearing about right? As soon as I brush my teeth & have a camera close by within the same hour, I'll pop a pic in.

Kind of drab post, sorry, but I wanted you to know I haven't bailed :)

Pat Me On the Head...

2008-05-20T17:01:00.001-05:00

...and call me Fido, 'cause what a good girl I am. I finally steeled the reserve to get my teeth (properly) scaled and sandblasted. But before you get the wrong idea thinking this star is a commendation to self ~ it is NOT.

Rather, it is posthumously bestowed upon the goddess of Oral hygiene, Robin, who did such a spectacular job causing me NO discomfort at my first ever braced cleaning that I would hug her had this not been our first encounter (and as strangers, no matter how intimate they may be with your mouth, tend to have requests for restraining orders against panting, pathetic patients on speed dial)!

Perhaps I should jump back for a second with the delayed preface that "I LOATHE CLEANINGS. " Kick me in the shins, please. Slam my fingers in the car door, Ya! Tie me up and throw burning coals in my lap...okay, you get the picture. But what's with the amazing capabilities of such otherwise pleasant-looking people to immediately find that last nerve and pick, pick, pick, till you want to die, die, DIE!!!! Normally I give them a heads up of the specific area that triggers the " Oh! I WILL bite you" reflex, but then they seem annoyed you spoiled their sport and zero in on it like a master marksman. (Sadomasochistic something-or-others... )

So imagine the surprise when, with great trepidation, I explained my sensitive bits and she listened. And.....(angel choirs break forth) tread gently and carefully with caution and concern. A rare gem, she is. Obviously, I had reception bold, italicize AND highlight that Robin is to perform my next cleaning - which is booked - & I can't wait.

You know when you find the right spot to scratch on your favourite pooch, the eyes role back & that ole hind leg gets thumping a furious tattoo? Ahhhhhhhhh!

B-O-R-D BORED!

2008-05-16T10:51:00.000-05:00

Does this stack look familiar to anybody else, just a different day? I confess to being rather reluctant to post as there just isn't that much to say right now. I was hoping for something hilarious to happen that could at least keep you folks entertained 'till something of consequence came up....but....
nope. Such small fry compared to the big stuff going on.

Most notably a massive (Al Pacino-Esq) HOO-ah! to Heather and Leah -their surgeries this past Wednesday and today, respectively- and Holly chomping at the bit with just 11 sleeps to go. We're all rooting for you, ladies!

It is nice in slower moments like this to just carry on carrying on as if there is no "someday" looming on my personal horizon; to follow what everyone else is up to and Cheer you on as LOTS is happening, without being too caught up in my own oral issues to try and really hear what you're trying to say. So whether I'm flooding you with comments or all seems silent, I'm most certainly up-to-date with you guys. Please! For the time being, let me live vicariously through you!

Nothing shattering, but I did finally do the old, "So.......how are things moving?....Are we on schedule...." all nonchalant-like and merely mildly interested, to my OD at the last adjustment. Trust me, inside I was shaking him by his Gap button-down polo 'till HIS teeth moved, screaming "Tell me,tell me, TELL ME NOW!!!!" *sigh* the restraint nearly killed me ~ My
fellow orthodontees were silently directing Oscar nods my way. THAT relaxed.

Anyhow, he informed me things are moving right on schedule and June 3rd I graduate to my Surgical wires and...wait for it...elastics! Yay, me. Arches, as whacked as they appear & feel, are nearly where they want them, so focus will be switched to finally closing the downstairs, yawning hole where my tooth used to be. I'm stuck with these glorious mid-lines until they're rearranged on J (jaw)-Day.

July will usher in more bubblegum goo (It's been a while, so I've almost missed this delicacy) to make my first braced impressions to be sent to the Surgeon. I loved hearing this part (but still looked cool, promise, no outward drooling with excitement) as it reaffirmed that there is a surgery going to be in here somewhere; they hadn't forgotten the god-like being who's to both shove Humpty off the wall AND put her back together again.

Trolls and Tantrums

2008-04-08T18:08:00.000-05:00

nce upon a time, in a land far, far away there lived a goat who spent her days skipping merrily through the meadow; exploring pastures abundant in tender grasses with a bounce in her step and a crown of jewels within her mouth. Content (and not saddled with directional impairment), Her life was rather pleasant , unhindered, free .......

Then why in tarnation do I all of a sudden feel like FREAKING OUT!!! No worries, this too shall pass, yada yada yada, and let's not forget how very long it is until anythings even going to happen, but it's almost like the nerves snuck up on me, "who's that walking on my bridge" as the trolls jump out to devour the poor little Billy goat. Ba-a-a-a-a-h!

When it comes to actual procedures, what to expect, I've done a fair amount of homework, I finally worked up the courage to watch the procedures highlighted with the Warning: Graphic! labels attached (Trust me, they deserve this designation ~*hurl*). I don't really care for surprises and would prefer to know what's coming. This whole process has been a long time coming and was subject to much scrutiny. It really has been saved as a last resort so I feel confident that this IS what I need to do. Does it sound to you like I'm trying to convince myself?! It's more all of the little uncontrollable extras that have my heart racing in the middle of the night. Some might even say that it's stupid stuff.

I guess the root of it is that I'm really struggling with how little the people around me comprehend just how scary this is, and if they don't get that, how in the heck are they going to get that I really am going to need help?! I have people come up and ask if I've had the surgery yet, people I see on a regular basis. I bite my tongue and refrain from screaming, "NO, Moron!"

To be even more honest, I HATE that I'm going to need help. Period. I don't want tubes invading every orifice (whether I'm aware of them or not). I don't want to drool like an imbecile and ooze bloody gunk uncontrollably for a couple of weeks, and not even know it. I don't want to feel like I'm choking & drowning inside my own fat head. I don't want to cheer the accomplishment of finally having the strength to shower, or pee without needing a nap. I don't want to view oatmeal as the great frontier in culinary accomplishment. Don't want weeks of swamp mouth. Don't want to wonder what lurks beneath the bruises. Don't want to wonder when a kiss will feel like a kiss. Can you just envision the toddler laying on the floor screaming: arms and legs pounding the floor? This is my tantrum.

Okay, so this might wake me up but I promise I'm not letting it keep me up; just a momentary blip in the hard drive. I do know that the whole one-day-at-a-time thing is important and the advantages to staying positive, which on most days I truly am. I love how real you all are in sharing what you're going through; I cheer your accomplishments, sympathize the setbacks. I KNOW all the right responses, expectations and actions to make it through this relatively unscathed....in my head. I suppose it's translating this into faith, feeling it in your heart and believing your head that's the clincher. (Orthognathic surgery as a religion? Hmmmmm....) Lather, rinse, repeat.

Ahhhhhh....Thanks guys. I feel better now. The goat DOES make it over that bridge, right? Better go outsmart me some trolls!

Uh-Oh.

2008-04-01T10:23:00.000-05:00

You know how everybody talks about how easily braces come off when this is all said and done? How, with just a bit of prying ~*POP*~ those suckers just snap off and the ortho is holding the wreckage, in one piece, in his hand? Must have been one crazy night 'cause i woke up holding a line of train track in my hand....pulled those suckers right out of there.

APRIL FOOLS!!!

Not that anybody actually believed me, but it was worth a shot!!

(Cue *Wahh-wahh-wahhhhhh* sound clip)

So, I've been known to comment on the glorious, oh-so-trendy affects of various vices on dental aesthetics. Witness exhibit A:

Obviously, giving up such all-round destructive vices is the logically brilliant plan (Please don't message me on the virtues of quitting.......I am well-versed in the art of whacking myself repeatedly over the head with a 2X4 for my shortcomings!) however, there are times a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. In this case, it was (carefully) tooling a standard sewing needle between my teeth to gently scratch off the stains. Witness exhibit B:

Yes, I should (and will.......honest!) most likely make an appointment pretty soon for an actual official cleaning anyways, but this most certainly makes it easier to look at in the meantime!

Cleaning at Dentist: $120.

Sewing Needle (20pk.): $2.

A Little Creativity: Priceless.

Four Months Down...

2008-03-28T16:40:00.000-05:00

...and who really knows at this stage just how many more to go. I doubt ANYone could really answer that for me just yet. So I cater to my need for fiddling and amuse myself with daily changes. For example: I had great molar connectivity for two weeks and could literally chew my salad! Now (yet again), not so much -the snake returns. If this were a cheap summer movie, It would be "Reptilian Invader VI". Kind of a "Rocky" or "Die Hard" thing, only instead of boxing or blowing stuff up - chewing. Blockbuster written all over it!

Well, I noticed that at two months (lame) I provided the comparison shot of my upper. Today I offer you the never-seen-before footage of my lower at the 4 month mark. I know I'm pathetic, (and have said it before) but I still find it amazing how much things are moving around even though it feels like NOTHING is moving. Arch is definitely rounding out nicely; teeth straighter and standing more upright. Curious to see how long it takes for the hole to fill in.

In other news, my oldest son is slated for a retainer come June. He's 8. And has a mouth like his Mama. Crap. The mission - and we've chosen to accept it- is to round out his upper and get those top teeth in front of his lowers, hopefully acting as a check to slow down his mandible as growth spurts come along. That and the boy's half shark. Little mouth + big adult teeth = ......well, let's just say it's crowded. Nothing's a given, but I'm sure willing to give it a shot. He just thinks it's cool he gets to go on Ortho-dates with Mom. Poor kid just might change his mind and rethink the whole "I even get to pick the colour!"

Surgeon General's Warning

2008-03-07T17:41:00.000-06:00

I'm Baaaack! It's been one of the worst months of my (relatively short) life thus far, but things should start taking on some semblance of normalcy...heck, I'm praying for sweet boredom! Anyhow, thank you for your inquiries into being MIA. I am most certainly looking forward to getting caught up on what you've all been up to :)

Let's start with a bit of a photo shoot, shall we? I've well passed the 3 months braced point and am amazed by two things.

Except for the occasional new internal raw-rubbed area, there is precious little going on in my mouth in the discomfort department, and

Holy Schlamoly, are things ever moving around in there...weird.

So this is a profile shot from today. Note the 'cute' little turn-up thing my nose does. (My dad would probably say it's from the oh-so-attractive snot wiping method I employed as a child.) From an aesthetic point of view, this is something I will be ensuring my surgeon is well versed in, as a more common outcome from moving an upper jaw forward can be a more turned up and/or wider nose. "Thou shalt use the y or Alar stitch whilst rearranging mine face!" I'm okay with it as is, but don't care to look like a pug in the 'after' shots.

Oooow! This is pretty! If I had a facialist I'd be running for some TLC (not to mention nose-hair trimmers) right about now! Thought I'd show a close up, bite-wise, of the same profile shot. I know I'm not all that objective, particularly considering my proximity to the subject matter- haha, but to me, even though it's the same darn picture, when you get the whole thing it doesn't really look as bad. Hmmmm...if this theory plays out I really must stop staring at my butt in mirror.

Don't mind the boils, stress does wonders for the skin -what am I, THIRTEEN!!!

Blah de Blah. This pic gives a bit of an idea as to where mid lines are at. It also serves as a public health awareness poster showing the beauty benefits of tobacco on pearly whites. LOVE how the braces trap staining on my bottom front two teeth. As Ms. Hilton would say, "That's HOT!"

A picture I would truly love to share involves a piece of chocolate cake at a well attended social gathering. I literally swished that cake in my mouth before greeting and laughing with fellow party goers, acting as though absolutely nothing were out of the ordinary. OH! You should have seen the looks on peoples' faces as they tried not to stare in disgust at the murky goo deeply enmeshed amongst the hardware, but didn't know if they should point it out or not. The gig was up when I couldn't stop laughing at the horror in their eyes.

Don't get me wrong, I'll be a pig in poop when this is all well behind me, but me-oh-my is it fun in the meantime!

Ps. Oooooh! First NiTi's go on March 17th......maybe buttons, too!!!!

The Stalker

2008-02-16T09:49:00.000-06:00

That would be me, by the way. I know many of you have shared the fixation one can develop with categorizing everyone around by Malocclusion, suggested correction, necessity of Genio; perhaps even hazarding an estimate of required rotation/movement to within a millimeter... if this were a sport, I may now be worthy of being picked for the team. I, ever so subtle, (I hope!) shift myself to glimpse profiles from a better vantage point; focus all telekinetic energies on coaxing a smile. Heck, if they play hard to get, I'm not above flashing my overwhelming bling at them in hopes of eliciting an open-mouthed gasp of horror. *Click!* Gotcha!My mouth is boring right now, so focusing on others is a way to stay on top of my game. Speaking of opportunities in this regard, I just returned from a Week at Club Med (Bahamas) where I was definitely the only brace face on the whole Isle. (I'll post a pic soon but let me tell you just how WELL a tan sets off the sparkle on the 'ole grill.) I did notice the usual range of bites but granted how Class III is my honorary title, a couple of women definitely sharing this status particularly caught my eye: After much study, and successfully attaining enough varied views to come to some conclusion, I found that they both had Orthodontic work done - Chiclets that perfectly in a row and level, midlines to die for....trust me on this - but their top teeth were quite obviously tipped out to get an end on end bite. No Class I. Just enough to get contact. I found this very interesting, but I restrained myself from striking up the old "Are you happy with your bite?" line (I’m sure they hear it all the time!) I can only assume -& in complete ignorance- that discomfort was not the primary concern? Or maybe they heard 'surgery' and said to heck with that- make them as 'normal' as you can? Was this a common trend at one time or another? Wouldn't this potentially create a host of other problems down the road? Really, I'd love to hear what you think about this.

Don't Shoot!

2008-01-28T17:43:00.000-06:00

Hooray! I am no longer being mistaken for a common woodland creature! I love my Orthodontist by the way. The office called me back Saturday evening to tell me I was doing everything right, but that Dr. Kaller was willing to see me the next day....Um....on SUNDAY?!?! I said thank you very much, but let's see what happens over night. It wasn't getting any bigger and there were no red streaks running down my neck, so I figured it wouldn't hurt salt-water swishing the night away (Pshhhhh...and some people think dancing on a Saturday night is exciting!) and wait for the morning reveal. The Tech said okay, but to call her cell in the a.m. to give her the scoop.

When I woke the goose egg wasn't any worse, but it hadn't gone down any, either, so I dutifully called in this report. She called back to say Dr.K would meet me at the office at 1:15 if I was willing. Sheesh, the last thing I want to do is foul up my OD's weekend with his family. I figure they're going to be seeing a lot of me in the future the LAST thing I want to do is be a royal pain in his keester now....I'd rather bank those kind of favours for a rainy day! But he insisted, and I must admit it was a huge relief to be getting his opinion.

He opened up the office and had a bit of a time finding all the necessary tools & joked that the tech's hid things on him as a means of job security! He was between his son's Science project and a hockey game....Are you getting the picture that I'm really loving my Ortho?!
He bent a particularly nasty hook on my very rear band and ground off the residual cement from when they installed the bands. INSTANT RELIEF- The swelling was 90% gone by bedtime. Between the marathon appointment I whined about earlier this week and the latest flesh wounds, my mouth was just severely annoyed with me. He did reassure that I wasn't an idiot & that I was to call him, weekend or not, if anything else goes awry at any time in this process.

I'll stop gushing now, but really.....I love my Orthodontist!!!!

Can YOU see the difference?

2008-01-26T13:44:00.000-06:00

I don't know WHAT the heck is going on but it's rather strange. Obviously, your cheeks ripped up following installation of new hardware is to be expected and this has most certainly been the case, however the left side is toughening up quite nicely. The strange part comes in with the right side. Yesterday afternoon I noticed that my lower right jaw bone is quite bruised feeling and that I seemed to be swelling up on this side as well. (Heck, I'm a female thus the notion of water retention crossed my mind, but that tends to settle lower down & with remarkable symmetry.) Not really painful...the inside is definitely still tender and not healing over, but overall just achy throbbing sort of stuff. I look like I have the half-mumps! I'm trying to smile evenly but it won't move the same.

I'm a little leery of just going to the hospital clinic as they are never fans of anything mouth or tooth related. They'll either just hand me a script for antibiotics to (they assume) make me feel like the issue has been addressed, or they say,"you probably have a bad tooth, go see your Dentist", who says ,"your teeth are fine, go to the clinic"....and so the circle goes. This was the trend when first trying to figure out what was going on with my crazy jaw-TMJ- stuff when it first started becoming a hassle.

So, here I wait for a call-back from my Ortho's office. If this is normal I'm quite happy to keep salt-water rinsing and wait it out. Or if this is strange, and a sore has become infected, I'd rather kick it out before it gets worse. I'm just not a fan of antibiotics unless it's absolutely necessary. Hmmmm. Anybody else have this happen?

The Next Great American Novel?

2008-01-22T13:02:00.000-06:00

Oh the stories a mouth can tell.....if only the mouth can open far enough to reveal the juicy tidbits of knowledge gleaned through it's vast experiences. And my mouth could give you the next Pulitzer but, due to situations beyond it's control -lock down- you're stuck with the drugstore dime novel version, courtesy of yours truely's fingertips (and a healthy tipple added to my Tim's coffee). Think of it as the Cole's Notes of FINALLY being fully braced.

*Ummm, you don't get any visual accompaniment this time either due to the aforementioned handicap*

As most who might have stumbled across this will already have experienced, banding is a wee bit different from brackets. Bear with me as this was very illuminating for me, though feel free to nod and smile along with that knowing "Ah....yes..." purr in the back of your throat. Misery loves company after all :)

My 1 hour banding/wire change appointment ended up being a 2 1/2 hour marathon. On the way out the receptionist asked if she should be getting me lunch. Apparently each of the 8 molars to receive it's ring of 'promise' was a different size and none of which fell on an obvious marker; unlike shoes, my ortho's bands didn't come in half sizes. As each tooth was re-re-& re-fitted, I was envious of Goldilocks and the comparative ease with which she found her bed,chair and porridge to be declared "...Just Right!" By the time Dr. K approved final selection of bands, the old jaw was already on the verge of spasm, but No, he had to recheck one last time at which time the Bear trap sprang shut on his errant finger. Apologies aside, he was quick to note that I probably wasn't all that sorry. I commended him for his keen observational skills. HA!

Step one accomplished. Now to do the old lip extender assisted cementing of the bands. The 6's went on with nary a hitch - just the usual grunt-shove-bite-shove-bite again- to ensure proper fit, when it came time to cement the 7's. *SCHREECH!!!* (That's the sound of progress grinding to a halt, by the way) Oh, what do you know...it's too tight now. The banded 6's are ensuring that the 7's go halfway and that's it. Let's take it off and try again! And Again.....Oh surely the third times a charm... Well perhaps Dr. Kaller can make it go on through his superhuman strength not yet displayed? (Nope, turns out he's a mere mortal as well.) Time to reveal plan 'J' with a choose your own adventure type ending: Let's put spacers back in and a) if you've had enough, come back next week and we'll band the 7's at that time or b) wait 5 minutes and try all over again. I chose option 'b' for two reasons:

It was approaching lunch time & if I couldn't eat, NOBODY eats! and
I knew by this point my jaw would be clamped shut for the duration of the week irregardless, I wasn't about to subject myself to the same all over again next week.

To wrap up the rambling and spare you even more repetition, they were finally successful with this rather important part of the process. Getting the wires in was a breeze and quite a relief as it doesn't require the equivalent of oral ashtanga yoga- no deep sustained stretching- YEAH! My lips and cheeks are now suffering post traumatic stress as not a millimeter was spared being rubbed raw from the struggle that ensued yesterday. It was a match that went all rounds and was touch & go by times - but guess who was declared the winner?

(Gotta love a surprise ending....)

No! ME, silly!

Witty Retorts

2008-01-16T06:53:00.000-06:00

Question: (voiced with condescending semi-sneer) "Why do you have braces? Must be nice...I always wanted them but couldn't afford it..."

Response: (must be said in sincere, yet off-the-cuff manner)"Meh, my husband has a school girl fetish, so..."

This has proven most effective so far. I have another one, but due to crude content it shouldn't really be shared in such a public forum - you have to be more careful to whom it's expressed as well. :)

Well, I awoke this morning to, um, nothing going on in my mouth. I actually felt guilt over the lack of discomfort the spacers are causing as they seem to be such a nuisance to so many others. (I was kind of looking forward to a good rant concerning this, if I must be honest. I could bond with other agonizers: They GET me!!!) I hope this doesn't mean that they aren't working. How pathetic is that, eh? We get so used to embracing the "no pain no gain" in numerous aspects of our lives that I can't just be relieved at how smooth the sailing thus far; my first reactions are guilt and worry that they can't be doing their job?! Pooey on that!

Woo-Hoo! Spacers are a Breeze! This is great!

It's official...

2008-01-15T17:09:00.000-06:00

I am one lousy photo taker. I've devoted a lifetime to fouling up every shot that might possibly contain myself within the frame which has resulted in three progressive findings.

1. Curbing the urge to pull a 'face'~or finger~just isn't natural and denies (what I believe to be) my hard earned talent.

2. Due to this gift there just aren't many decent photos out there (though a few hilarious ones are locked in the vault!)

3. Avoidance leads to indifference. Don't like being snapped so never bothered to become the snapper. Though now that I think of it, that would have been a clever solution producing an entirely different opening statement for this post. Hmmmmm...

Let's play a little word association shall we? You know how the game goes. I say a word and you shout out the first word that comes to your mind. I'll even get you warmed up! ..... HOT ...... BATHTUB ...... SCHOOL ..... ICE CREAM ..... SPACERS ......!

Ha! What I wouldn't give to have heard your replies to that last one! I have to be honest in that I was expecting a lot worse and can only say that 'a-stinkin-noying' would have to be my word. Either that or 'Zoodles' as that's the consistency of nourishment I've been reduced to eating once again. I'm staring to sense a pattern. Granted it's only day 2 and I've enjoyed much better oral stimulation on nearly ANY other given day (hee-hee!), but I'm functioning fairly normally. Keeping busy and thus distracted seems to be working okay. I'm rather amazed at the power a few teeny-tiny rubber disks can hold over the entirety of one's mouth. Gross, but want to see?

Nothing like a before & after at 2 months...sheesh! Ah, the baby steps that keep one focused. Works for me. The Ortho tech had quite a time wedging them in there and said she hopes they'll make enough room by Monday when they plan on banding and stringing the whole shebang together. She HOPES!!! I leave for a week in the Bahama's on February 2 - those bands are going on Jan.21 come heck or high water.....I'll take my vice grips and give her a hand if she needs....but I really want that week+ to get used to everything before taking off. Would rather toast the good times than end up moaning with Kenny Rogers.

Cheers to that?

Happy New Year!

2008-01-02T09:43:00.000-06:00

Trust everyone enjoyed pleasant times with family & friends over the Holiday Season! I know I did and if my sluggish disposition is any indicator, it may take just a wee bit to get back to routine. So worth it :)

I'm not really a 'resolution' kind of gal: much build up trying to accomplish too many things which ultimately ends in let down and self-recriminations. HOWEVER...I'm going to try weekly goals starting in little things and building to more that might matter in the grand scheme of things. Due to taking a bit of a hiatus on the teeth documentation front, this week it will be to get a pic up of present alignment. Isn't that lofty? Meh, Not much is going on right now anyways so keeping reference points up-to-date is rather where I'm at. But just wait 'till I get my spacers for rear brackets on the 14th - the weeping and wailing to come have me positively crackling with anticipation.....

OOOh! Kinda funny braces moment during the reveries of New Year's Eve. Apparently a sizable chunk of a Gherkin pickle I'd consumed previously had lodged itself somewhere among my oral bling and become a projectile during a moment of later merriment, landing on the table before me. Imagine the reactions of those around as I calmly proclaimed "Mmmm! I was looking for that!" and popped it back in my mouth. Ha! Embarrassment just makes others uncomfortable (0r triumphant) and who wants that? Hey, it was an accomplishment just to bite into that thing, period.

I Suppose I Should Be Happy

2007-12-22T10:41:00.000-06:00

My mouth is creating no discomfort whatsoever. Hmph! I'm getting the whole circle of pain, discomfort, excitement, resignation, impatience process I've read about. "You've been moving, don't stop now!!" The only annoyance I find now is with the sheer volume of time it takes to be constantly brushing, flossing, picking. I just might need to get a bigger purse....or dig out an old diaper bag....with which to haul around the exponentially increasing amount of paraphanelia required to stay on top of this. My new best friend? A pocket knife. Cutting everything into bite size pieces is a royal pain in my rear! Now to find a folding fork...

It is exciting to note I can now venture out in public, carry on a conversation, and actually forget I have braces on! The constant awareness of figuring out where my lips should be was a bit awkward for a while. Clever lips..they figured it out all on their own. The fetching lisp seems to have disappeared as well.

I am kicking myself for not taking a good "first day in braces pic" as the changes are kind of cool: that initial up-down zig-zagging wire linking each tooth as a drunken train now a perfectly straight line. Such a boring concept really, except to the train's conductor :) Throw me a bone, these are early days.

It's the little things

2007-12-19T06:17:00.000-06:00

It has already struck me as amazing how fast things can change. I am no where near those who have gone before regarding experiences and goals attained in the mouth department, but everyday there's some little thing of note.

For the first weeks in braces, I was too busy trying to get used to the very concept of what it actually feels like to have a mouth full of foreign substance. Did anyone else wake themselves up in the night with the outside of their lips ripped up? I found myself trying to push the braces off my teeth with my upper lip, mid-slumber and in a complete panic. There were a few conscious moments I had to tell myself to just relax and get used to it already. My mouth felt claustrophobic. Weird.

Then my front teeth, if I tried really hard, I could make them tap, tap, tap against each other. This wasn't altogether comfortable but it's like a scab you can't stop picking and I had learned a new trick! Two days later, I couldn't tap them for the life of me. In fact, I imagine myself half snake now with the new found skill of swallowing my 'prey' whole; it is impossible to make ANY of my teeth touch. Due to the cross bite on the side, my bottom teeth merely encounter the presence of the metal attached to the uppers. NOT a fun feeling when it happens unawares! The same is also true for my front teeth: Bottoms clashing on the top brackets - OUCH! My entire mouth is now an open bite. Hence the reptilian approach to nourishment.

(D'uh moment of the week: I was craving a nice garden salad and added one to the family table at supper. No sooner had I put the fork in my mouth when I cursed my stupidity. Salad really is impossible to chew if...well...you can't chew! Swallowing whole spelled instant gag, so I jumped up, threw the thing in my juicer, added a couple of carrots and ~voila! I had my salad. Not quite the same. Live and learn.)

It really are these very subtle shifts that take the mind off the nuisance of the whole process, and focusing on these changes day-by-day just might help the time pass more quickly. Baby steps.

Treatment Specifics

2007-12-17T13:12:00.000-06:00

Okay, Enough of the ranting and raving for a bit. No Ortho blog is complete without the oral details and **shudder** accompanying pictures

None of these glorious full-face shots has me with a teeth closed position. Pictured is my comfortable jaw position. Unfortunately comfort doesn't allow contact between any of my teeth. The closed bite you see stresses my TMJ, but it's the only way I can have contact to chew. I guess I could stop eating...

Note: If you consume coffee in copious amounts and smoke...It will most certainly come back to haunt you. Disgusting.

My assessment is as follows:

Lower jaw protrusion

Excessive vertical development

Negative protrusion of upper front teeth

Upper & lower crowding & malalignment

Upper midline shifted left/ Lower midline shifted right

Tapered upper arch

Anterior crossbites, plus crossbites of upper right side

Duh! I could have told them that without making me radioactive and bite into all that bubblegum goo. Ha ha. We've got the official points of reference anyhow.

By the Way...(Part 3)

2007-12-17T12:41:00.000-06:00

What the heck is the deal with people noticing you've got braces, (assuming they don't just take for granted you only want to flaunt your money and pride in striving to obtain straighter teeth-this does seem a popular response) ask what's up, then just start talking about having their wisdom teeth out. Rule #1 people: If you don't care to hear the answer, don't freaking ask me! I'd rather it not even come up at all. At first I would try to clarify but it's kind of hard to due justice via a sound bite and then expect them to understand. But I don't get it. It's as though they're trying to 'one-up' your deal without knowing what the deal even is. It's not a competition or even a beg for pity- It just is what it is.

It is by times making me sufficiently angry. It was a huge step for me even to share with those outside of the immediate family circle in the first place. I've already given up & just let people think what they want & do the old nod & smile while feeling a little bitter inside. I have GOT to let this go! Please tell me it gets easier! I'm thinking of drafting an "Orthognathic Surgery for Dummies" leaflet to hand out. Actually, two. A nicely phrased one for those who would really like to understand, and a scathingly witty one for those that are just butt's (and by this passive-aggressive approach, whether they get that they are being mocked or not, would put just a little bit of bounce in my step. HA~! Oh my, I've reverted to my kindergarten self) I take some measure of solace in knowing this seems to be a common response to others in similar position.
Deep breath in..........now out..........

So the Story Goes... (Part 2)

2007-12-17T10:24:00.000-06:00

Given that my lower jaw is the most obvious of my features, the assumption has been that it is the culprit guilty of throwing everything out of whack. Apparently this is not the case as things sit right now. My upper jaw didn't grow enough. Dr. C is hoping to correct the underbite & crossbite using a Lefort 1 (upper jaw) and genioplasty (aka chin job) only. I must confess to being unsure if I'm slated for a 1 or 2 piece Lefort. I'll be confirming this at my January appointment.

Diagram illustrates a one piece Lefort I procedure. A two piece involves an additional fracture vertical underneath the nose for horizontal expansion or re angling.

Illustrates fracture made to reposition the chin. This is sometimes necessary to aesthetically balance the jaw repositioning and/or to make sure the lips are in a natural position after structural movement. The things you don't think of!

I was figuring he would need to work on both jaws, so imagine the sigh of relief upon hearing this. Yes, quite a laundry list of challenges to hurdle with upper jaw surgery, but escaping the additional list accompanying a BSSO (lower jaw) surgery is a treat. This is the plan, anyways, pending the Ortho's ability to get my chompers into the most beneficial position. I am aware that this can all change up to the 11th hour to include BSSO but to those that ask, I tell them upper jaw only, while mentally preparing myself for the possibility of both - not obsessively though.

Okay, I'm kind of on a roll now that I've started sharing so I'll give you my rationale for being happy not to have this already well behind me and paid for by my parents. By default, it also includes my personal feeling on the cosmetic vs function debate as it pertains to me ONLY.

*The disclaimer: this is in no way a dis against those who take an opposing view on the subject as it's a highly individual matter of perspective, just my opinion on how it fits with my story, personally. With this in mind, please don't bite my head off if you disagree...I have no problem with others choosing to the contrary :) *

I find it strange that my #1 motivation for wanting this as a teen was aesthetics, whereas now it's one of my biggest fears. Heck, I'm no beauty queen, but this is what I've looked like for just shy of 30 years and I've gotten rather used to it. This is me. Perhaps there's a bit of "the devil you know is better than..." going on, but really I'm quite happily married to an extremely handsome man and we have 3 very beautiful (if I do say so myself) children, malocclusion be darned. If I were to do anything for aesthetics, I would get a boob job : simpler (even with complications) cheaper, and more instantly gratifying (though I'd never actually get one!). But change my face? What if I hate it?Not exactly something you can hide under a bulky sweater and chose to show off now and then with a nice push-up, if you know what I mean! Bottom line: for ME (again just my personal choice...), cosmetics is not sufficient to entice me to take such drastic measures. Matters of character just seem much more important. I'm thankful my parents chose not to proceed. Circumstances change. Pain is a stronger motivator.

In light of the above paragraph, I don't believe I was informed or cared enough about all the risks and complications. Heck, even just the routine road blocks of a picture perfect recovery would've been nasty. (True, we'll never know for sure and maybe if it was done I would never have the discomfort of wearing disks, strained joint and whacked out teeth. But it was a crap shoot - lots of folks have bite issues to varying degrees and don't seem to suffer at all. I wish that was me!) I doubt I'd have been able to go through this process with the amount of grace and long-term vision that I would like to think I can rustle up now. That gift of hindsight: I thought I was mature and capable in so many things but let's face it, my priorities at that age were just so narrow/ different. I look back and realize just how naive and blissfully unaware, as well. Even emotionally I know there will be challenges, but I'm past trying to (re)invent myself and hope to be able to remember the big picture & where I fit within it. (If anyone stumbles across this blog, feel free to remind meof this later!) I can make more well-informed decisions as an adult, and have no one else to blame but myself regarding the outcome.

Wow, Guess I should have warned you I'm a windy talker...nothing a quick scroll wouldn't have revealed anyways! Meh, once all the history's out of the way I imagine I'll pipe it down a bit.

History Repeating (Part 1)

2007-12-17T07:44:00.000-06:00

It's true what they say, history really does repeat itself. Or should the cliche being bandied about really read..."will come back to haunt you.."? It's the latter that has been all consuming in the life of Yours Truly the last few years, the past 6 months particularly, and I don't see that changing anytime soon.

As so many fellow ortho-bloggers have shared, Orthognathic Surgery was the recommendation of the day whilst still a teenager 15 years ago, and there would be no straight teeth for me without it. The initial records were taken, impacted wisdom teeth & an impacted canine were all removed, the surgeon consulted and the brakes applied. You see, at this time all I cared about was how different I looked than the people around me. I know now that it's called a class III malocclusion, but at the time I couldn't care less what it was called. I looked funny -'nough said! I had no trouble eating, talking was a sport I excelled in and pain was not an issue. Why, in the name of all that is holy, would one's parents put their child through such a huge procedure for the sake of vanity? Some wish their parents had gone for it back in the day....I am not one of those people. Perhaps I'll share about this later.

Fast forward to the more recent past and safety-pinning the bottom of one's pants is no longer De rigour. Humour me by bearing with a few rather mundane-sounding examples :The way I eat, which has always been normal to me, pushes my lower jaw even farther forward than would be naturally comfortable but it's the only way to make molars meet in able to chew. The joys of being an adult and the everyday stresses which accompany this usher in the dreaded clench and grind. A routine visit to the dentist ends the ability to open my mouth for a couple of weeks, a complete lock down. Oh right. They are also all accompanied by a fair amount of discomfort and I don't normally consider myself a pansy in this department. Boo-hoo for me. Who doesn't have variations on this theme? Find a power animal & take up yoga, you might suggest. Don't go to the dentist, Duh! Just stop eating - poof! Just a couple silly examples, but they now have the power to turn me into a useless, drug-seeking puddle who always has to ask herself, "How many days of no sleep have I endured? Am I sufficiently incapacitated to warrant treating myself to that Percocet hiding in the back of my cupboard?" Ibuprofen used to be my best friend, but apparently living on the stuff can lead to developing an allergy to the stuff. Look! I'm a human hive with a tongue the size of a Mack truck! Drat the luck. I'm self-aware enough to know I have an addictive personality, hence the strict narcotic rationing.

Enter the doctors, dentists, orthodontists, and TMJ guys. I sought out a cross section of care-givers for 1st 2nd & 3rd opinions, options available other than surgery, to have each and every one of them eventually point me back to the suggestion of origin-Orthognathic Surgery. Bummer. I won't suggest for a moment that this decision is easy for anyone regardless of what stage of life they may be in. This option scares the bejeebies out of me on so many levels. I'm not exactly old but I'm not a youngster anymore either. I've got a farm to run, a husband and kids to look after, School and Church responsibilities. How can we justify spending all that money on braces and a surgeon for me, when there's never enough to go around? What if I turn into a whining wussy who can't talk (or think) about anything but her mouth? What if all the other kids make fun of me?! What if my peers think I'm just doing this because I'm *gasp* VAIN - the horror!

Enter my wise and caring husband, without whom I really don't think I could rationally make this decision. His advise:

Throw out any concerns that involve other people or organizations. If they can't at least be sensitive and flexible you don't want them around anyways.

Look at your quality of life now...it sucks. And it's only going to get worse.

You asked for opinions from those that should know, and this is what they are all telling you. Listen to them.

I'm here to help you whether you handle it stalwart as a soldier or bawling like a baby.

You have people more than happy to help with kids and responsibilities...but you have to let them.

It took you years to get to this point & you tell no one the pain you put up with, you can't expect others to just "get it".

Ummm...that's what payment plans are for and you're worth it. One day at a time.

He's a good man! Decision made. My big Sis makes a heck of a sounding board, too.

It's actually scary how quickly everything fell into place once proclaiming the final "Bring it on and let's Git' er done!". I decided on my childhood orthodontist, Dr. D., whom I trust and has the advantage of already knowing my past history. Seeing how much my records have changed from the '90's to today was rather ominous of what I could look forward to. He has another ortho working in the office now, Dr.K. who is a completely different style but also left me with a good impression. (A built in 2nd opinion on all things tooth-placement related is rather nice, too!) I saw them the same week I called and was back for my round two initial records appointment 2 weeks after that. I had already chosen the surgeon I wanted, pending how I felt about him in person. A little inside help from one of the other doc's I consulted with got me in to see Dr. C (oral surgeon) the following week, November 8. Made it a bit hairy for the Ortho's to get everything together on time, but wow, they were awesome! The drive to the surgeon's office was rather nerve-wracking. I just kept praying,"Let me love him or hate him, I don't care which. I just want a sense of surety that this is the guy for me..or not!" The ball was rolling so fast I wasn't sure if it was a sign that this really was meant to be, or if I was racing into a grievous error. I had to remind myself that the hemming and hawing had already ran it's years-long course, that I had already made this decision. The rest is just details. I loved Dr. C. We'll see how I like driving back-and-forth to Toronto.

Okay, we're at today. I have a mouth almost full of metal as everything but molars where joined by wire on Nov 28. I'm no longer drowning on my own saliva or sporting a mouth shredded by the shrapnel within. Dr. K even called me at home to see how I was making out, with which I was very impressed. Spacers go in January 14, followed by banding on the 21st. Then we can say the show is officially on the road. My dentist pulled out my lower 4th tooth (to match up with the missing upper canine) two weeks ago, and honestly, it was this removal that gave me the most grief. It could be having a healthy tooth pulled while still getting used to braces was just a bit much, but it just felt wrong. I am now a strong believer that one is meant to keep their teeth firmly embedded in one's jaws thank-you-very-much.